Pro-Marriage or Pro-Divorce?

Posted on April 10, 2018 by Eric Bensoussan, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

I had a conversation last week with a woman who is going through a breakup but really wants to get back with her husband. She believes that they can both make it work, with effort and communication.
One of the first questions she asked me as a Relationship Coach was: Are you pro-marriage?

I immediately answered her: I am pro-happiness, I am pro-personal power, I am pro-responsibility, I am pro-freedom, I am pro-love, I am pro-peace. I believe in Marriage, and I believe in Divorce.
I am certain she asked me this question because I have been divorced three times, and she may I have thought that I would encourage her to stay separated based on my personal experience.

However, there is no right or wrong answer. The answer is different for everyone.

My three marriage and three divorces are just the way I have experienced my life and relationships so far.

Getting married was everything I wished for when I entered into a serious Relationship in the past and I was craving to create a family.
Getting divorced was everything I wished for when I lost my personal power in relationships. I realized that I was a people pleaser and I was focusing my energy on everybody else but me. I had created some co-dependent relationships and handed my partners the responsibility for my own happiness. Did I wish to get a divorce? Certainly not.
At that time, it seemed it was the only way for me to get back my confidence, my personal power, and my freedom.

My personal path was that I needed to be on my own to reconnect with my deepest self, and take responsibility for my own happiness.
I could have made different choices and stayed in the relationships.
Divorce at that time just felt right for me.

Regardless of whether you are in a relationship or going through a divorce, I am focused on getting you to a safe place of awareness so that you can regain power, strength, confidence, and clarity. You remain empowered with your own decisions. Whatever decisions you make, I support you 100%. I just want to make sure that you are aligned with your values and the life you want to create.

I have helped people to overcome the emotional challenges of divorce.
I have helped couples improve their relationships and communication skills so they could experience a new way of being in a partnership. In this way, they could create a safe space to co-create instead of being co-dependent.
I have helped individuals understand their personal dynamic, patterns, and beliefs so that they can break free from their past stories. They have transformed the way they relate to themselves and have gained, a new level of awareness in relationships. Some of them have chosen to get back with their ex, some of them have decided to try something new.

Everyone and everyone’s experiences are unique. Every situation is different.
I believe the only way to know what’s best for you is to strengthen the relationship you have with yourself.
The key is to overcome your patterns and triggers so that you can get a better understanding of your personal dynamic.

Once you have that awareness, you are able to make new choices and have the clarity to choose what’s best for you.
This new awareness has the power to impact and shift every single relationship you have.