What is forgiveness?

Posted on April 10, 2018 by Eric Bensoussan, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

Forgiveness.

What is forgiveness? How can we possibly forgive what has hurt us in the first place? How can you free yourself from hurt and pain?

Forgiveness is a commonly misunderstood concept.

Forgiveness is the ultimate act of self-care and self-respect you can have for yourself.

What is it exactly?

In my opinion, forgiveness is being at peace with yourself and others. Being at peace with your life’s circumstances. Being at peace with your life’s experiences.

FORGIVENESS IS ANOTHER WORD FOR FREEDOM.

In order to be forgiving, you need to be in a place of love and compassion. Whatever mistakes or bad choices you did in your life, you did your best. Beating yourself up will not make you feel better.

Just let it go, and move on. First because what happened in the past doesn’t exist anymore. The past is done. Your present is far more important because you need to make choices and move forward. Do you want to make those choices from a place of guilt, regrets, anger or from past traumatic experiences?

I am assuming the answer is No. You want to make new choices based on your power, based on your joy, based on what feels right now. There is no place for anything else than love.

Fill your body, fill your mind, fill your heart with love and decide to move on.
This is a decision to make, and only you can decide when it’s the right timing. You will come to this conclusion eventually no matter what.

Start to forgive yourself, embrace and honor your mistakes as insights and as meant to be. Infuse compassion, love, self-care, self-love and move on.

Then it’s easier to forgive others because you can step into their shoes and feel their hurt. That being said, being forgiving has nothing to do with accepting what happened, and how you have been treated. It has all to do with letting go and moving on.

Guess what, when you let go, you create more space for your life, for your family, your kids, your relationships, for everything that matters in your life. You create new possibilities.

Being at peace will come from the experience of letting go, and surrendering.

Most of my clients always start by telling me: I am not ready to forgive him or forgive her. They are under the illusion that their anger gives them some sort of power. And they imagined a plan for revenge. After few sessions, they start to realize that they need to let go in order to have a great relationship with themselves. So if today, you think you are not ready to forgive, it’s totally fine. Get used to the idea, and maybe start a new inner dialog with yourself.

There is always a time when we feel so much stuck in dramas, stories, and pain, that we have no other choice to believe that there must be another way.

And the good news is when you will be ready, there will be this new way available for you. Forgiveness starts with yourself.

“Healing has its own timing”