How to WOW the next person you meet

Posted on December 05, 2016 by Thomas C, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

How to WOW the next person you meet

But First, a Story….

Recently, I had the privilege of meeting a person I have always admired from afar. His name is Michael. Michael is a world renowned speaker, constantly sought out by the most influential people.

I will never forget the first time we had a short conversation. He focused on me. He treated me as if we had known each other for a long time and joked about losing his eyesight and becoming forgetful in his older age.

His staff kept trying to usher him away to another room, but he stayed, finished the conversation and then thanked me. I felt like a million bucks. And then I thought to myself, how can I do that for other people?

In the following pages I will show you a few principles on how to better relate to others and how to leave them feeling impressed with you as a person.

THE PROBLEM: ARE YOU THE PERSON NO ONE REMEMBERS MEETING?

Do you sometimes feel like you fail to impress anyone? When other people talk to you, do they have their eye on the look out for a more interesting person?

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to “WOW” the next person you meet?

What if, when that same person saw you leaving at the end of the night, they chased you down to grab your contact details? What if they wanted to include you in their inner circle going forward?

It’s not as difficult as you think! In this eBook, I’m going to give you three basic principles that you can easily apply the next time you want to make an unforgettable impression.

Principle 1: Expect to find Treasure

What is the difference between shoveling dirt to get your car tire out of the mud, and digging a hole knowing that you are about to find a gold nugget?

In every relationship (even brief ones) there are treasures to be unearthed. These come in many shapes and sizes: a new best friend, a connection you needed, helpful knowledge, a pleasant conversation in the otherwise boring party… perhaps it is something YOU can do to help THEM, someone YOU can give a connection/knowledge/etc (after all, isn’t it even better to give than to receive?)

The gold may come now, it may come in two years, but it IS there in EVERY person. Your job is to search and wait expectantly…at any moment it could surface! The best way to NEVER see the treasure is if you are always on the lookout for a “more valuable” person to talk to. Even if Bill Gates
walked in the room, you need to stay laser focused on what your new friend is in the middle of saying.

So how can you practice this?

Who is someone you really admire and wish you could be friends with? The next time you have a conversation with someone (it doesn’t have to be a new person), have this question in your mind:

“What would I do if this were The Person I Most Admire?”

As a result, here are some of the phrases you might find yourself saying:

“I really like the way you handled that situation.”
“What an amazing story! How is it you have such an incredible life?”
“Hang on…I didn’t catch that part…where did your partner go?”
“What’s your take on this topic?”

You don’t feel your phone ring in your pocket. You don’t notice that food has been served. If you get pulled away, you express your disappointment. The list goes on, but you get the idea. Here’s the magic:

When you treat someone like that, THEY WILL FEEL VALUED!

Their confidence will increase, they will feel GREAT, a feeling – better than drugs – which they now associate with YOU. Think they might invite you to their next dinner party?

Keep this principle in mind as we move on to the next two…

Principle 2: listen AND talk

People do too much of one or the other. They either talk your ear off OR you can’t get a word out of them. Both of these types KILL good conversation and interaction.
Which category do you fall into? If you don’t know, then it is probably a BLIND SPOT that you have. People have been too nice to clue you in.

Here is how you can figure it out and then fix it.

Next time you have a casual conversation (doesn’t need to be with a new person), record it with your phone (just put it in your shirt pocket). The conversation needs to be 5 minutes or longer. Later, listen to the recording and measure how long you talked vs. the other person.

If you were talking for 70% of the time or higher, you are probably talking too much.
If you were quiet for 70% of the time or higher, you are probably in the danger zone of being too quiet.

How can you fix this? Overcorrect the problem. If you talked too much, you need to work towards listening 90% of the time. If you were too quiet, work towards talking 90% of the time. Keep recording, until you get a 10 minute conversation where you successfully over correct the problem. After doing that you can let it flex back to a more normal conversation. A healthy rule of thumb is to aim for letting the other person speak a bit more, so around 60/40 (them talking 60%).

Helpful hints on how to get there:

For the Talker – questions are your friend. Load up on questions and ask away, then pay attention to the answers.
For the Quiet – stories are your friend, tell things in the form of short stories (people are less likely to interrupt you in the middle of a story).

THERE IS ACTUALLY A THIRD CATEGORY WHICH IS THE “ACCOMMODATOR.”

This person will naturally compliment the other person’s style and can play the role of either listener or talker. Initially this may seem like a good thing, but there are two potential negative results:
- If the other person talks 100% of the time – you become a doormat to their ego
- If you talk 100% of the time – then you fail to draw the other person out, feeding their shyness insecurities

So even as an accommodator you should aim for the 60/40 rule.

Principle 3: Vulnerability Breeds Trust

Every one of us puts on our Instagram face when we interact with the world. But if we are honest, we actually don’t have everything together and often we feel like posers who are trying not to be found out. Like a turtle who has pulled inside his shell, afraid to expose any soft part of his body for fear of injury.

The problem here is that we are left with a rough hard shell that is not conducive to building healthy relationships. Secretly we want to be known AND loved. You need to lead the conversation and the relationship by modeling self disclosure.

When you self disclose some information that paints you in a less than perfect light, it does a lot of things:

- It shows confidence in who you are – you’re not afraid to let yourself be known
- It shows trust – you trust the other person to not harm you or think
less of you

How Does This Happen?

Whatever it is, it has to be real! People can smell false humility a mile away.

I’m not telling you to go share your deepest darkest secret within five minutes of meeting someone. Instead share something small. It can be a weakness – something you have been struggling with, or a recent failure. It might be serious “I had a really hard time with that situation” or funny “I failed my driver’s test 4 times!”

Conclusion and Bonus

So there you have it, three solid principles to “WOW” the next person you interact with. In the end though, these are all surface level tactics that, if implemented well, will work, BUT, if
you want a long term deeper transformation in your relationships you will need to have a different paradigm shift.

You need to set your mindset to have the other person’s best interest at heart. It’s as simple as following the golden rule “do unto others…” If you do that, it will help you implement these
three principles and keep adding value in a world where character and depth are becoming rare.