6 Reasons Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Work

Posted on February 19, 2015 by Charlie Vensel, One of Thousands of Christian Coaches on Noomii.

It is New Year’s Eve and most people are thinking about their New Years resolutions. It is also a time when I hear a lot of folks saying things like, “We go through this personal goals stuff every year only to give up a few weeks, if not a few days, into our new direction,” or, “My New Years resolution is to not make any resolutions.” I certainly resonate with those sentiments, for I can’t tell you how many things I’ve started and never finished.

However, let’s be sure not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Every day is a new opportunity to do something different, something better. New Year’s Day is as good as any day, and psychologically, it might even be a better day because we will actually see “2015” everywhere we look instead of “2014.” New Year’s Day is a natural threshold; the old has passed away and the new us underway. I believe there is some momentum to be gained by making intentional shifts at this time.

WHY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS DO NOT ALWAYS WORK

We all have our excuses, but here are a few common categories:

1. The goal is too vague. “I’m going to lose weight,” is not enough to motivate us. It sounds more like a wish than an action. Where there is no clarity, there is no motivation.

2. The goal is kept private. “I’m not going to tell anyone what my goal is until I reach it. Then, if I fail, no one will know.” Few of us have the self-discipline to accomplish major behavioral or cognitive changes without the accountability and encouragement of others.

3. The goal is only pragmatic; it doesn’t deal with the core issue. For example, “I’m going to lose 50 pounds again, through proper diet and exercise.” The problem word in there is “again,” whether stated or implied. Healthy diets and ample exercise will always produce weight loss. The core issue is why the weight keeps coming back on, i.e., insecurity, self-loathing, fear of intimacy, etc. The diet and exercise part of the goal are great, but if you want success, you need to address the core issue(s) in the goal as well.

4. The goal has no plan. “I’m going to find a new job,” does not tell you, nor anyone else, how you are going to do that. I’m all for positive thinking, and yes, I do believe it plays a part in how things work out for us, but that thought alone will likely not produce a new job. Remember, the definition of insanity, “Doing the same things, but expecting different results.”

5. The goal lacks feeling. “I guess I need to get organized this year,” sounds more like Eeyore, than passion. A goal needs to be thought through from the feeling of it already being completed; that’s where passion is found.

6. The goal(s) is/are overwhelming. One goal is better than no goals, but ten goals are likely to sink you, or three major ones could do it too. If you are already working 60 hours a week and you decide that you are now going to start a new hobby that requires 20 hours a week to master, how long do you think you will be able to keep that up? Best to think of one or two goals, that if reached, would have the most significant impact in your life.

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT GOAL BASICS

Experts have been telling us for years that goals need to be SMART: Specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timed. You may have seen that acrostic represented a number of different ways, but the essence is the same.

Specific: It needs to include the who, what, when, where, and how.

Measurable: There must be some way to measure progress.

Achievable: It must be doable. Do you have the time, resources, and freedom to reach it? How much change are you going to have to undergo to make it happen. Be realistic; remember what it was like the last time you tried to do it.

Relevant: Does the goal really have something to do with the objective you are trying to reach?

Timed: This is part of the planning process. We need firm start and finish dates. Consider it is your boss that set your goal, the due date he or she assigns is usually met.

AN EXAMPLE OF A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION THAT IS LIKELY TO BE ACHIEVED

What is it I want to achieve? I want to write more consistently in 2015 than I did in 2014. Specifically, I want to write 26 blog articles next year.

What is my motivation for doing this? Writing helps me process my thoughts. I have a calling to help others process theirs. When my thoughts are clear, it helps me fulfill my calling. I have something to say that is of value; It feels good when I share what’s inside and when I know it has helped others.

What has stopped me before? Fear, time, disorganization. By naming them, I can now confront them.

What is my plan? In the first three weeks of the year, I will develop a 20 blog plan, by theme, or themes. I will write on Tuesdays evenings for 2 hours, edit on Wednesday evenings for 1 hour, and post on Thursdays of the appropriate weeks. In the first three weeks of the year, I will contact the three people that I know that do this well and ask for counsel. I will block out the writing and editing hours on my calendar, for the year, on January 6th.

That is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timed. It answers the who, what, when, where, and how. It passed the purity of motivation test, and, it confronts some of the previously unnamed obstacles, which is also personal growth.

It begs the question, “Would I see only 20 blog posts, or if I posted on Fridays or Saturdays instead of Thursdays, as failure?” No. Even though that is not my goal, it would be a significant improvement over this past year, and, I’m sure I would have learned a lot. Life happens, so a near miss would be acceptable. I would still celebrate that I’m moving more fully and expressively into who I am supposed to be.

THE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION CHALLENGE

I encourage you to pick at least one personal development goal for 2015. Take some time to reflect on the things that really matter. What goal, if achieved, would make the most significant impact in your life, your relationships, your faith, or your career? How would you feel if you accomplished it? What’s been stopping you so far? Who will hold you accountable? What would it take to get there? What resources do you need? If you need help thinking through these things, developing SMART goals, or with accountability, I’d love the opportunity to coach you. Click the “Start the Conversation” button below to learn more.

About the Author: Charlie Vensel is Certified Leadership Development Coach, Certified Spiritual Director, and ordained minister. His mission: to help you discover who you were meant to be and how to get there.