Beliefs Are Not Truths!
Posted on November 26, 2013 by Juan Moscoso, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
In this article I discuss how beliefs generate the fictional truths that are powerful drivers of the behaviors we seek to change.
Beliefs Are Not Truths!
Beliefs are the seeds from which emerge the complex constellation of thoughts, feelings, inner dialogues, tendencies and, ultimately, the choices and actions that dictate the outcomes you experience as you move through life. They are integral to the lens through which you filter and process your external and internal experiences.
How did you acquire your beliefs? They may have arisen in childhood; formed out of your innate need to systematize, to comprehend and make sense of your life. Alternatively, your beliefs may have originated as someone else’s opinions- conclusions you internalized and made your own. A judgment perhaps encountered in your formative years from a trusted source, or from someone whose importance in your life imbued their conclusions with gravitas and authenticity.
What are your beliefs? How do they impact your relationships with partners, spouses, children, employers, animals, spirituality and social institutions? How do they affect your interactions with those whose race differs from yours, or the sexual behaviors you engage in, abstain from or avoid? What beliefs drive your choices? If you could identify them at work in your endeavors, would you elect to change them? Could you? We unconsciously cling to and protect those beliefs we are identified with- those we experience as truths. Under these conditions, we may adamantly refuse to surrender them.
Is it your desire to experience greater joy, freedom, financial success, opportunity, intimacy, gratitude, serenity, sobriety and love? To change your behavior and experience different outcomes you must mine your psyche for the core beliefs that drive your behavior. I take it as a truth that you can change your beliefs!
Were do you find your core beliefs? Start by looking at what rattles you; what ignites your defensiveness. We defend what we are intimately attached to, are convinced is necessary for survival, or perceive as irrefutable parts of our identities. You are certain to find your beliefs camouflaged in your defensiveness. As well, beliefs are to be found in the stories you tell about yourself.
An astute observer can assist you in recognizing the beliefs embedded in your behavior and in your stories. What tales are you telling yourself and others about the events of your life- why your partner has left you; why a person yawned while you spoke at a meeting; why your son or daughter can expect to have a difficult time at a new school; why you can’t request a salary increase from your employer; how your childhood abuse came to pass; why the driver next to you aggressively cut you off without warning, etc.?
If beliefs are not truths (and they are not), we are free to examine them and ask, “Does this belief help me? What could replace it? What is the truth I need to know at this moment?”
A coaching relationship can assist you to uncover and challenge your stories, and to provoke the insights from which practices develop to support the emergence and stabilization of new beliefs (and therefore, new experiences). To know your beliefs is to ensure that moment-by-moment it is you who is authoring your present and not your past.
In a separate article, I will share with you a daily practice that will help you to eradicate negative core beliefs and result in greater peace and serenity.
