Letting Go Of The Familiar
Posted on November 26, 2013 by Juan Moscoso, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Musings on what it takes to change!
Letting Go Of The Familiar
The time comes for many of us when change is unavoidable. Awakening to the realization that a change of course is being asked of us is a necessary first step on the long road toward transforming our lives. Those of us addicted to substances or behaviors are keenly aware of the difficulties inherent in letting go.
Forsaking our attachment to the familiar may seem hazardous, even risky, like navigating rocky shoals in heavy seas without a marine chart. The danger may appear too great. Yet, for self-changers, the seemingly treacherous exploration of a life divorced from entrenched habits is necessary in the pursuit of a different way of behaving. Transformation does not occur in the absence of risk-taking.
Change may seem terrifying. Our reluctance to change is heightened if what is to be abandoned is an attitude, a view of ourselves, or a habit with which we have become identified, or one, perhaps, that has comforted us through moments of difficulty or seemingly unbearable physical or emotional uneasiness.
In our attachment to the strategies for surviving we learned in our past, we become blinded to the present-day risks of continuing to live with these attachments. We loose sight of our capacity to tolerate risk. We remain static; we fear change and resist it.
Denial may mask the obvious, blinding our consciousness from the evidence that would lead us to acknowledge the need for change, like an effective pair of shades that shields our delicate eyes from the damaging effects of solar radiation (such is the power of fear). But denial cannot numb the feelings that arise from that deeper self- its voice unheard- that informs us that something is amiss and requires attention.
As we reflect on how to begin our transformation, let us remember that we need not pursue change in isolation. Surround yourself with supporting and empowering relationships. Learn to develop trust in your relationships. Reach out to your Spiritual self. You are never alone or unprotected!
There are many paths to change:
-Join a group of other seekers, such as a recovery group, 12-step or an alternative.
-Become a spiritual explorer. Develop a spiritual practice or deepen your involvement in the study of your religious beliefs.
-Enter into a professional helping relationship. Hire a therapist or coach.
-Develop your Inner Witness. Become the detached, impartial observer of your feelings, emotions, habitual reactions and your thinking. Observe your defensiveness. In its refusal to consider an opposing opinion, you will find evidence of that which you are protecting.
-What others can you think of? The list IS endless!
