Who do I love and appreciate?

Posted on July 15, 2010 by Crystal Church, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

A bit about my Life Coach, Maia Berens
I love Maia.
I will speak of just today and what she did to help me. If I spoke of all of the occasions it would take a month!

We had a one-on-one coaching call scheduled and when she asked me how I was, that is all it took for her to hear in my voice that there was something wrong. She immediately focused on what I needed. She asked my what was wrong and I began to babble, literally, about sprint and how they are jacking me around, Cooper and how he didn’t go to sleep until after midnight last night (mind you, he is 3 and I was wiped out), Alex and how she wants to be treated like an adult but still wants to act like the 18 year old she is, how I was emotional and pms-ing, how my to-do list was so long that I couldn’t see the end of it, how I have family all around me and no one offers support, how being a single parent sucks, and on and on and on………

After I went on for a while Maia, said her famous line that snaps me back into reality, “I get it, now what are we going to do about it”. So then I began to list off all of the things I had already decided to put into motion, from my coaching call with Adrienne the night before, you see I have been having this meltdown for 2 days now! Anyway, overwhelmed was the predominant feeling today. The immediate problem was the yelling match I just had with Alex, and how shitty I was feeling because of it. I knew I had been grouchy and was taking it out on her, but I couldn’t communicate with her.

This is where Maia really stepped in as a mentor, coach, and FRIEND. She offered to talk to the both of us at the same time. We put her (Maia) on speaker phone and even though Alex was a bit resistant at first she really heard Maia. Maia has this way of always being objective. To not take sides, which I am sure Alex assumed she would do. Maia gave Alex permission not to talk if she was not comfortable, since this was the first time they had interacted in this way. Maia asked us each to briefly explain the problem as we saw it, she listened, and then she gave feedback. She did not defend me or Alex. She just pointed out how each of us saw the situation and then asked each of us if our perceptions were correct. I admitted that what Alex was feeling was true. This was huge for my daughter to hear from me. Maia asked Alex to realize that she is being heard.

One of the most important things Maia did with the two of us today, was to keep it brief. We didn’t go on an on about what we were mad about. We vented, we listened and then she gave us an assignment that we both agreed to do. This assignment will move us to the next level in our relationship. It addresses the change that is occurring in our relationship.

Alex just graduated from High School and our relationship is changing, to one sort like roommates I guess you would say. She wants to be treated like an adult and I want to give her that freedom but I still need to hold her accountable and be the parent as well. Maia suggested that we each:
1. make a list of our expectations of each other, and
2. write about how we ideally would like our relationship to be

Much to my surprise after the tears and the anger, Alex happily agreed to the assignment as well as checking back in on Friday to discuss what we wrote down on our lists. She was calm after the call, we were able to say “I love you” to each other and the overall feeling in the house was much, much better.

I am proud of Alex for being willing to do this call with Maia and I.
I am proud of myself for listening and admitting to my part of the whole situation.
I am mostly proud to have such an amazing woman in my life. Maia is a friend forever. She gives herself completely. I really needed her today and she was there for me and my family. She is the person who can help me be the parent I want to be, and all I have to do is ask. She is the person who empowers me to be a life coach and share my knowledge gained through my experiences to others in the same way she does. She is the person that makes me realize that we can make a difference in this world, one person at a time.

I Love her, I admire her, she allows me to be equal with her. She does not use her gifts as a power over me, she willingly shares them to help me excel in life. I have never know a person like this, who doesn’t put a price on their friendship. Who doesn’t resent me for needing her help or make me feel like I owe her something. She is genuine.
She IS the Fairy godmother she professes to be.