The power of role-play
Posted on March 03, 2025 by Sandrine Pochet, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Practice. Practice. Practice.
It’s not easy to hold your own at times when stakes are high and emotions can run in every which way, whether in your personal life (conversations with a child, your partner, friends and family…) or in your professional life (with a boss, colleague, third party…). Examples are delivering constructive feedback, setting boundaries, addressing a conflict, addressing mental health issues, allowing more freedom…
During role-play, these dreaded conversations are simulated. This gives you a chance to practice and build confidence in a judgement-free environment and be better prepared for these challenging interactions.
Some outcomes
• The ability to stay calmer and be more assertive in emotionally charged situations
• Enhanced problem-solving skills to navigate conflict productively
• Increased empathy and understanding of the others’ perspectives
• Greater self-assurance in delivering messages that matter for you
Why Role-play Works
You experience both sides of the conversation, giving you a deeper understanding of the dynamics at play. This kind of practice builds muscle memory, so when you face the real conversation, you’re not only prepared, but you’re confident and composed.
Even if you know that you are just acting or pretending, it’s incredible to watch how easily you slip into the role that you were assigned, by this I mean slipping into a character and the emotions that arise for that person in that particular situation. This happens even if you are very far removed from the role you get assigned, meaning even if you feel like you have not much in common with that person.
In addition
• The role-playing brings a lot of insights in a short amount of time. I’ve seen this over and over again. It is very concrete and there’s already a lot of material to be found in the reason why you find that particular interaction challenging. It could be the topic, the particular person or a type of personality, the environment (school, work, family…), a pattern that shows up regularly in your interactions…
• A lot of the work is already done just by someone showing up to practice on that difficult conversation. Often you will see that the way the conversation plays out is different than the scenario that you have been playing repeatedly in your head. In addition, inevitably unexpected situations will arise as we are not following a written out. People are often surprised at how they do actually find ways to respond.
• Often, in high-stake situations, our focus narrows, we forget to ask deep-dive questions which can create resistance and sometimes animosity in the other party. The roleplay allows you to access the different emotions that arise for the person(s) involved, not only your own. This creates a better understanding of the entire situation and what the other person might be going through emotionally. The surprise effect of role-play can bring some lightness to the way you look at the situation.
• More empathy is developed, and as a consequence, the way you express yourself will change: tonality, choice of words, leading to coming closer to looking for a common ground and potential solutions to the situation you find yourself in and that you are trying to resolve.
• The role-playing is combined with somatic clues. Which means paying attention to what happens in your body. Your body is constantly feeding you very important cues. By connecting with that, you learn to recognise the signs of what works or doesn’t for you.
Results
In terms of efficiency, herewith a few testimonials. All were given after an intake conversation, and a one hour session:
“The role play opportunity was useful in being able to hear what I say sounds like. I realized how my intentions were not communicated directly through my words and how to remedy that. Through the two part exercise I felt more knowledgeable about my vantage point.” – Vyse
“I had a session with Sandrine. She helped me practice this difficult conversation. Many new perspectives were opened up. I understand that my uncertainty and hesitation were contributing to my fear of the conversation. I advise Sandrine for who needs to be more relaxed before difficult conversations. Thanks a lot” - Gürcan
“As a novice experiential coach, I found myself doubting my (professional) position in relation to certain clients. Thanks in part to the peer coaching and role-playing with Sandrine, I gained more confidence, which allowed me to successfully continue guiding my client’s process. In the role-play, I got clarity in the motives of my client and his “being” on the one hand, and on the other hand clarity on how I could respond authentically and professionally. Thank you Sandrine.” – Liesbet Van Dessel
