The Archetype of Childhood Trauma
Posted on December 26, 2024 by Sogol Johnson, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.
Childhood trauma often stems from unintentional actions by parents; A vision into some of the roots of childhood trauma
I don’t like long intros to my blog posts so here we go;
There are several archetypes of childhood trauma that for the most part is unintentional.
Having a parent who denies your reality can be an incredibly painful experience, often leaving deep emotional scars. When a parent dismisses your feelings, invalidates your experiences, or refuses to acknowledge the truth of what you’ve lived through, it can create confusion, self-doubt, disassociation and even anger. This denial can make it difficult to trust your own emotions about something leading to struggles with a number of concerns from self-worth to trust.
For many, this experience feels like being unseen and unheard by the person meant to provide unconditional support and validation. Healing from this requires rebuilding trust in yourself, learning to honor your emotions, and finding safe spaces where your reality is acknowledged and respected. Self-parenting and trauma-informed practices can play a vital role in helping you reconnect with your truth and reclaim your sense of self.
Even the most well intended parents can do this. But its the repetition and constant gaslighting that causes the emotional scars. Here are some examples of how that might look like.
Minimizing Emotions:
What it looks like: A child says, “I’m really scared,” and the parent responds with, “There’s nothing to be scared of. Stop being silly.”
Impact: The child may feel their fear isn’t valid, leading to confusion or suppressed emotions.
Invalidating Experiences:
What it looks like: A child shares, “I feel left out at school,” and the parent replies, “Oh, you’re being dramatic; everyone loves you.”
Impact: The child might doubt their social experiences or feel ashamed for voicing their struggles.
2. Dismissing Physical Sensations:
What it looks like: A child says, “My stomach hurts,” and the parent says, “You’re fine; you’re just making excuses.”
Impact: The child learns to ignore their body’s signals, which can lead to difficulty identifying or trusting their physical needs later.
3. Overriding Preferences:
What it looks like: A child says, “I don’t want to hug them,” and the parent insists, “Don’t be rude; give them a hug.”
Impact: The child may struggle with boundaries and bodily autonomy.
4. Imposing Adult Perspectives:
What it looks like: A child says, “This is the worst day ever!” and the parent replies, “You don’t even know what real problems are.”
Impact: The child might feel their feelings are insignificant or unworthy of attention.
5. Ignoring Signs of Distress:
What it looks like: A child hesitates or cries when approaching a situation, and the parent says, “You’re fine. There’s no reason to act like that.”
Impact: The child learns to suppress or ignore their discomfort, potentially leading to anxiety or a lack of trust in their instincts.
6. Mislabeling Emotions:
What it looks like: A child is visibly upset, and the parent says, “You’re just tired,” when the child is actually hurt or frustrated.
Impact: The child may struggle to identify and articulate their emotions as they grow.
These actions are often well-intentioned, as parents might be trying to comfort, protect, or guide their children. However, they highlight the importance of acknowledging a child’s reality, validating their feelings, and fostering trust in their inner world.
If you’ve made it this far I Love You.
-SJ @healwithsj
