Attention High Value Men & Women! Who Are You When You’re in Love?

Posted on December 04, 2024 by Anna Chin, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Let’s start with a question: who are you when you’re in love? It’s a question most people never stop to ask themselves, but for high-value people like you, it’s one of the most important ones you can explore.

You’ve built a life that others admire. You’re independent, capable, and reliable. You’re the person others look to for support, advice, and strength. You’re a giver—you show up for people, provide for them, care for them. And because you’re so put together, the world assumes you don’t have needs of your own.

But let me tell you a truth you might have forgotten: you do have needs. And more than that, you deserve to have those needs met.

Why Love Feels Complicated:
If you’ve ever wondered why love feels harder for you than for others, it’s not because something is wrong with you. It’s because of the way the world sees you—and maybe even how you’ve come to see yourself.

When you’re known for being independent and self-sufficient, people often don’t realize that you long for connection, intimacy, and someone who sees you for who you really are—not for what you can do.
The truth is, when someone loves you, they don’t love your job or your success. They love you. They want to know what gives you butterflies, what makes your heart race, what lights you up inside. They don’t care about how you carry yourself in a boardroom or what you’ve accomplished at work.

I’m going to be blunt: nobody wants to date their boss or business partner. Nobody wants to feel like they’re a side project in your life. What they want is to see the real you—the you who gets a little shy, a little silly, or maybe even a little vulnerable. The part of you that feels butterflies, that gets excited over small things, that laughs at silly jokes—that’s the part of you people fall in love with.

The Self You Bring to Love:
Here’s the thing: the person you are at work isn’t the person you are at home, with friends, or when you’re in love. You’ve spent years cultivating the self you bring to your career. You’ve mastered the art of professionalism, learned to lead, and developed values like “I always deliver on time” and “I am reliable.”

And that’s amazing—it’s brought you so much success. But here’s the catch: love doesn’t work like a business meeting (hopefully NOT!). In love, nobody cares about your punctuality or how well you manage a team. What matters is who you are when the world isn’t watching.

Learning the Language of Love:
Most of us were never taught how to be in a loving relationship. If you grew up in a family where love was complicated or conditional, you might have picked up beliefs like:
• “I need to give and give because I love them.”
• “It’s my responsibility to keep everyone happy.”
• “If something’s wrong, it’s my fault, and I need to fix it.”

These beliefs might have helped you navigate difficult dynamics, but they don’t serve you in healthy, reciprocal relationships. Love isn’t about sacrifice or obligation. It’s about joy, playfulness, and mutual care.

Be Yourself—In Love:
Let me ask you something: who are you when you’re in love? The “self” you bring to love is different from the self you bring to work or even to your friendships. In love, you’re playful, flirtatious, and open. You share your dreams, your quirks, your silly jokes.

Think about how kids act when they like each other. They giggle, tease, and just want to be near each other. That’s what love looks like at its best—easy, light, and full of wonder.

But if you’ve spent years focusing on your career or responsibilities, this side of you might feel unfamiliar. And that’s okay. It’s not gone; it’s just waiting for you to rediscover it.

Love Is About Presence, Not Performance:
When someone loves you, they don’t want the polished, professional version of you. They want the version of you that’s authentic and present. If I were dating you, I wouldn’t care about your job title, your income, or your accolades. I’d care about the person who gets excited over little things, who dreams big, who feels deeply, and who can laugh at the most ridiculous jokes.

Love isn’t something you achieve; it’s something you live. It’s about sharing happy moments, being playful, and enjoying each other’s company.

You Can Start Today: in love, that’s okay. Most people haven’t spent much time thinking about it. But here’s the exciting part: you can start becoming that person today.

Laugh a little more. Share something silly. Be playful. Let yourself feel butterflies. Love isn’t about being perfect or impressive—it’s about being real and present.

Lost Time is Now Found Again:
You’ve worked so hard to build the life you have. Now it’s time to let love in. You don’t need to fix or change yourself to deserve it. You just need to let the world see the side of you that’s already lovable.
You can begin living the life you desire, feeling the way you should, today. Love is waiting for you. Are you ready to let it in?

www.annachin.co