Are you suffering from Nonprofit Leader Loneliness?

Posted on September 03, 2024 by Tom Brush, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

You might be asking, Nonprofit Leader Loneliness what is that or maybe you already know?

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You are exactly where you wanted to be, what you have worked for – the Board President, Executive Director, Director, or other leadership role.

After being passed over, questioning why things were the way they were, and wishing you could do something about it.

Now, you can try all those ideas that have been stirring in your head that they ignored or said won’t work.

You make the decisions, you run the meetings, you get to decide what to do and when to do it.

CONGRATULATIONS! What could be better?

You celebrate finally getting that role you desired. You now get to manage the board, hire your team, and create the events you know will drive awareness, engagement and raise more money.

Look out world you are ready to take over and have the impact of your dreams.

People congratulate you. They say you will be a great leader. Just what your organization needs.

… And then you have to make your first decision and it doesn’t go as you thought.
That’s ok, it will get better you are just getting started, learning your role and building your team.
People can’t expect change overnight.

… And then your first meeting isn’t as effective as you expected.
Those supporters are starting to wonder if you really can do the job. They’re your peers, friends and co-workers, they know you will figure it out. It will be fine.

…. And then your team is struggling to achieve their goals and you are finding it hard to get your work done and still support them.

Meetings with your Board or supervisor, where you were once excited to share your plans and goals, now become the thing you want to avoid. Maybe even call in sick to avoid.

Decisions become more difficult to make and the confidence in your work and yourself starts to fade and leads to frustration, overwhelm, and uncertainty.

In your former role, you had someone else to go to with your challenges, to talk through ideas, and to build up your confidence when it was lacking.

Where do you turn now? Your the “expert”, the “decision-maker”, the “person-in-charge” and are supposed to have all the answers not the one asking questions.

And then it hits you – Nonprofit Leader Loneliness. And WOW, do you feel alone.

Leadership Doesn’t Have To Be Lonely

I was exactly where you might be now or worrying that you are getting closer and closer to.
That point where I had gotten the opportunities I had been seeking, until I realized there was no one to help me learn how to be a leader. I was just good at the skills of fundraising, event and volunteer management, and connecting with our community. That didn’t mean I was going to be an effective leader.

I struggled with Nonprofit Leader Loneliness.

What I realized about 20 years into my career was that I was starting to feel less lonely. I had connected with peers and some people outside my organization who understood enough about my role and situation, they wanted me to be successful, and they were willing to be available for me.

That knowledge, experience, and perspective helped build a trust and confidence that allowed me to share some of my ideas, thoughts and challenges with them. I knew that they wouldn’t just tell me what they thought I wanted to hear. They could tell me the truth, even if it was a little painful.

I remember one conversation where one such person, I’ll call her Diane, said to me “That is the dumbest idea you have ever come up with.”

That stung a little. I could have shut down right there.

And then Diane went on to say, “and if you tweak it just a little and consider it from this other perspective you might have a brilliant idea.”

It was exactly what I needed to hear. Moving forward with the original idea would have created real challenges.

Where do you turn for real feedback, the question no one else will ask and where you can be vulnerable without worrying about being judged by those that hired you or those you lead?

From that point forward, whether it was a committed peer, an understanding friend, a mentor or a coach I hired, I have been sure to find those people in every role I have had in the last five years. That was my solution to the (Nonprofit) Leader Loneliness. I have had it and I don’t ever want to get it again.

Have you found your antidote for it or are you risking it getting you?

A Prescription for Nonprofit Leader Loneliness

I have started to see more and more of this issue in the Nonprofit industry.

Less resources, more pressure and people thrown into roles they have not been trained for and there’s no training planned for them. Board members, Executive Directors, Program and Development Directors, etc are left to try and figure it out. No wonder Nonprofit Leader Loneliness hits.

Don’t become the next victim of Nonprofit Leader Loneliness.