Brimming over with Themness

Posted on May 14, 2024 by Laura Roeven, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

“… to be human is to become visible while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others…” ― David Whyte

“Some people just are brimming over with themness,” was a line that made me stop in my tracks. “Brimming over with themness” feels like a gift of being ourselves and is the experience we have when we are with another who embodies themselves fully. When you are with them, there’s a beacon of light in their presence. Someone who brims over with their own self isn’t afraid of what they have to offer and is genuinely curious about who you are. I consider these moments of participating with another’s “brimming over with themness” as a wholehearted, real-time connection. Humans are wired for connection on a physical and soul level. This recognition of another’s genuine, unique self, warms the moment shared.

In the brimming over of ourselves, we are visible and offer our treasure as a gift to others. How do we lower the resistance of being known, and share with others?

Dare to be silly

I was on retreat once when the facilitator introduced “We can dare to be silly with each other”, in the group agreements. Does this sound terrifying or liberating to you? Irish poet David Whyte discussed how well the Irish poke fun at themselves which allows everyone around them to be comfortable with imperfection. Humility has levity which keeps us grounded. The permission to be and to feel silly is needed in the brimming over of our unique selves.

Be Quiet or Loud: Both are needed

The labels introvert and extrovert trip people up when it comes to confidently being themselves. Western culture rewards the extrovert, while introverts tend to be overlooked. Celebrate yourself how you are, quiet or loud! This can be a direct volume setting on your authenticity. Owning your make up, ideas, and culture, allows common ground and to stand in confidence. Acceptance of self and letting go of perfection allows for more connection. Be the loudness or quietness you bring into the world. Offer it with connection and compassion and the inner volume adjustment will naturally dial up or down with what the moment needs.

Brim over Freely

What allows you to be able to freely share without apology or shame? To embrace yourself as whole and flawed, and offer it freely anyway is a generous and brave act. Actions that “brim over with themness” are body language that seeks to listen, eye contact that embodies curiosity, smiling with enjoyment in the moment, and a relaxed stance of being present to be able to give and receive.

It can get messy. Like spaghetti with sauce…messy. Sometimes our authentic self is not understood or appreciated. Sometimes we forget the value of our unique presence in the world. When we are too busy, sleep deprived, or lonely, we can lose track of our sparkle…our brimming over gets depleted. “Brimming over” requires being present, feeling our feelings, and dosing the heart with compassion and empathy.

Honor Friendship

Take a moment and think of that person brimming over with the wholehearted ability to be themselves. This is your friend who shared a moment, an era, or a lifetime, in which you were invited to participate and share. As humans, we need each other. Like the air we breathe or water we drink… we need each other to connect, share, love and be loved. The poet David Whyte wrote of friendship, “…the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them…” There is only one of you that notices what you notice and can do what you do. That’s your sparkle and the brimming over your offer. In friendship, we honor that recognition in each other.

Welcome to your “Brimming Over” day.

You are the cat’s pajamas! I celebrate you and what you bring into the world. Keep brimming over…Keep being you!

(this article was originally published on stoughtonnews.com)