Characteristics of good communicators

Posted on April 01, 2024 by Martin Hahn, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

Good communicators pay attention to everything the other person is communicating. Poor communicators focus on their own self interests: thoughts, feelings, experiences and ideas. They are not really interested in quality communication with others. Good communicators, on the other hand, looks carefully to everything the other person is communicating: symbolic, nonverbal and verbal. We are constantly trying to communicate
our self-image and self-esteem. We do this by driving an expensive sport car, live in a personally designed house, wearing designer clothes and wear expensive jewellery. Or we might do just the opposite! These attributes are merely reflecting how we feel about ourselves and how we wish to be treated by others. These communications may be sent and received unconsciously. Good communicators are trained to pay attention to these things and translate that into the lot of poor communicators speak in undiplomatic ways: they barge right in by using their mouths before using their brain.

Good communicators, on the other hand, will think carefully first about how, when and where they will deliver a message, especially important messages. One of the most effective techniques to communicate effectively is to frame a message in a clever manner: with an analogy, a fact, an anecdote? They apply the formula by imagining how they can make the other person understand the point they want to make. This is done by
thinking about something which is important to the other person so that they can relate to him/her. They think about their main goals and what they want to achieve from a particular communication setting. They think before they say something.

Good communicators always try to find the right combination of words, body language, dress, and tone of voice before sending a message. Poor communicators do not think about how to deliver a message. They just say what they need to say and leave understanding and interpretation to the poor listener. Poor communicators are not interested in finding the optimal mix of words, body language and tone of voice. Good communicators, on the other hand, think first before they communicate.
They do this with more concentration when the communication is an important one. Good communicators know that people use a variety of senses to listen and interpret our messages. Therefore good communicators match their body language with the signals they want to send. Good communicators dress appropriately and watch their tone of voice. These things are always important factors if a message wants to be received in the proper way.

Good communicators realize that how we say something is often more important than what we say. Good communicators try to avoid using the same words when sending their message to different persons because no one person is identical. Poor communicators are not very flexible because they will say the same thing to ten different people the same way each time. They do not realize that those ten people have different levels of understanding, backgrounds and desires. Then they are often truly amazed
by the fact that no one ‘got it.’ Poor communicators do not realize that messages can be received in different ways opposite to what they expected. This is caused by the difference between the intention we put in our messages and the way others read the intentions behind our messages.

Good communicators are always investigating what the other person perceives to be important. Good communicators try to link the information they already have about the other to their messages. Good communicators use their communication experience with the other as an effective guide to design new messages. With these techniques, good communicators can frame their message so it suits with the other person’s thoughts, feelings and aspirations. They also monitor the other person’s reactions while they are delivering their messages. If necessary, they adjust the style of delivery to facilitate effective communication.

Good communicators are always ready to be flexible or try to move on after deliveringtheir message by reaching a decision, solving a problem, negotiating a compromise, etc. Poor communicators think the communication is over when they have said their bit. Poor communicators always think that they must state their own point of view clearly, fairly and
persuasively without realizing that this is ineffective communication; it is a one-way street.

Good communicators know that before effective communication occurs, they need to know the interests of the other by carefully listening to other person’s point of view. This helps them state their point of view effectively. After gathering and giving good information, good thoughts, feelings, and aspirations of others. Good communicators know what others
communicators are ready to move on; reaching a decision, solving a problem, negotiating a compromise, winning a sale, making a friend, resolving a disagreement, reaching an agreement, concluding a deal, etc.

Good communicators are fully aware of the reciprocal nature of communication which is a process of giving and receiving a message.
Poor communicators have never learned the basic process of giving and taking as part of effective communication. Poor communicators do not possess the skills to suit the other person or the circumstances. Effective communication is actually much more than just giving and receiving a message. Effective communication happens between and among people. It is a reciprocal process in which sender and receiver do it together like a dance. Like in any classical dance it means leading and following. Good communicators are basically superb dancers!

Although the above typical characteristics seem to be obvious and easy to understand, many people have difficulties applying them in a consistent manner. Communication is a process which is comparable to driving a car. The more you do it, the better driver you will become. Experience is the best teacher in communication. Moreover, the willingness to learn from your experiences is very important. Of course we make mistakes, but we try to learn from those mistakes and become better next time.

Having explained the above characteristics of good communicators, what are the messages they are trying to communicate and what hold importance and worth to others. They look at the personal items put on the desk of others at work, how they change their posture, seating position or facial expression; all small things which express something about others’ attitudes and feelings.

Good communicators constantly think about the nature of their messages. Experience is the best teacher in communication. Moreover, the willingness to learn from your experiences is very important. Of course we make mistakes, but we try to learn from those mistakes and become better next time.