Burnout in Female Leaders: What It Is and How to Handle It

Posted on January 12, 2024 by Kayla M. Sweet, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Being a female leader is a beautiful opportunity, and it comes with unique challenges. Women have to juggle many hats at home and work, which can lead to burnout if not managed well.

As a woman who has served in various formal and informal leadership roles, I understand that women have unique challenges in managing stress at work and at home. When I’ve been burned out, I felt most seen and understood by other women. We get it because we are all in it together. While each woman’s life challenges are unique and intersectionality contributes to the stress levels faced by any particular woman – we understand that we face challenges that are different than those of men. We’ve got to stand together and support one another.

Additionally, while anyone can experience burnout, it shows up differently in women. We have particular vulnerabilities to burnout due to the structure of Western society and the gendered expectations that continue despite the ongoing efforts for equality for women.

Burnout is essentially emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress that hasn’t been addressed. Burnout shows up in three key areas: (1) Emotional Exhaustion, (2) Depersonalization, (3) Decreased sense of professional accomplishment.

This article discusses what burnout looks like for women in leadership positions and how they can build resilience to manage their stress.

If you want to dive into more on Burnout as it shows up for women and the challenges we face, I highly recommend you read the book – Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski Ph.D. and Amelia Nagoski, D.M.A. I reference the book multiple times in this article because it changed how I deal with stress and understand burnout in women. Every woman needs to read this book.

What Does Burnout Look Like?

Burnout looks different for everyone, but common signs include feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, cynical, detached from your job, diminished motivation and productivity, difficulty concentrating, decreased self-confidence or self-esteem, irritability or impatience with others, and physical symptoms, including headaches or weight gain/loss. Women are more likely than men to experience high levels of emotional exhaustion when burned out, which is the component of burnout that is also most correlated with negative life consequences (Nagoski & Nagoski, 2020).

Women in leadership should be especially mindful of these signs as they are more likely to experience burnout due to the many demands on their time at home and work. According to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, “On an average day, women in the United States spend 37 percent more time on unpaid household and care work than men.” Most women in Western cultures are working at least part-time in addition to shouldering most household tasks, caregiving activities, and care of parents/elderly family members. Women in leadership positions – at work, at home, or in the community – have additional responsibilities and even more daily stressors.

If left unchecked, burnout can cause serious problems for women, such as chronic physical health issues, job loss, or career derailment. This causes not only severe issues for women but for organizations as a whole.

In recent decades, the importance of having women in key leadership roles in organizations has been highlighted. According to a 2021 article in Forbes, “on most of the key traits that make leaders more effective, women tend to outperform men.” So, we need women to remain in their leadership roles, and women need to be well cared for so that they can maintain these roles without serious consequences to their health, well-being, and life balance.

Women also deal with different societal chronic stressors than men, including misogyny, sex and relationship violence, body image challenges, gaslighting, and the challenge of just trying to get a word in edgewise (Nagoski & Nagoski, 2020).

So, of course, we are burned out.

Deal with the Stress

Stress lives in the body and has a natural rhythm that it moves through, as all emotional experiences do. Unfortunately, our modern world has hijacked this system and made it hard for our bodies to know what is going on (Nagoski & Nagoski, 2020).

Stress, the physiological response in our bodies, doesn’t go away when our stressors are removed. Instead, it continues to impact our physiology until we do something to signify to our bodies that the world is safe (Nagoski & Nagoski, 2020).

This means when we are dealing with stressor after stressor and never completing the cycle and permitting our bodies to reset, we are stewing in stress hormones most of the time (Nagoski & Nagoski, 2020).

You can do some things to complete the stress cycle and give your body a chance to reset. The actions below are from the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle (Nagoski & Nagoski, 2020). These need to be done regularly because our stress occurs on a regular basis, but here they are:

Physical Activity – The single most effective method

Breathing

Positive Social Interaction

Laughter

Affection

A Good Cry

Creative expression

Which of these can you integrate into your daily routine? I try to get a little of all of them, but physical activity is the non-negotiable stress management method in my life. When I intentionally exercise 4-6 times a week, everything else is better.

Building Resilience

Developing emotional intelligence (EQ), social intelligence (SQ), and self-awareness are all beneficial in strengthening our resilience to stress. Additionally, it’s essential to be in touch with something bigger in life – this could be religious or spiritual beliefs – or it could be your personal “why” or life purpose. This gives us something powerful and more significant than us and our day-to-day to connect with and gather strength from.

EQ involves being able to identify and regulate emotions in yourself as well as those of others.

SQ allows you to navigate difficult conversations without feeling overwhelmed or losing your cool. Additionally, SQ supports you in cultivating and maintaining community, which is an essential element of resilience to stress. We aren’t meant to go it alone; the better our social intelligence, the more capable we are of having meaningful relationships that surround and support us.

Self-awareness allows you to recognize when you are starting down a path of unhealthy behavior before it takes hold.

Connecting with something larger than yourself gives meaning and purpose to our lives. This makes us resilient to the stressors we can’t escape from and reminds us of what really matters (Nagoski & Nagoski, 2020).

All of these practices are essential for female leaders who want to stay energized and productive while still managing the demands of their jobs.

Don’t worry if you aren’t there yet. EQ, SQ, Self-awareness, and connection to something larger are all things that can be developed and strengthened with time and practice. You don’t have to have all the answers or be an expert in these skills right now. Evaluate where your starting point is, deal with the stress, and invest in yourself in areas you most need to strengthen.

Underlying Beliefs

It’s also essential for female leaders to be aware of any underlying beliefs that could put them at risk for burnout.

Beliefs like “I have to be perfect” or “asking for help is a sign of weakness” can lead to perfectionism or people-pleasing behaviors, which can lead women to overextend themselves out of fear that they won’t be seen as good enough if they don’t do everything perfectly all the time.

Women in leadership positions often feel pressured to do more than their male counterparts to prove their worth, putting them at risk of burning out more quickly than their male counterparts. We might be afraid that saying no or drawing a boundary will make us look less committed to our work and hinder our professional growth.

Awareness of this tendency is critical for avoiding burnout as it will help you set boundaries around how much work you’re willing to do without sacrificing your health or happiness.

Two ways to work with these beliefs are to use positive reappraisal and redefine what it looks like to succeed (Nagoski & Nagoski, 2020).

Positive reappraisal is when we reframe stressful situations in a way that creates meaning. This isn’t the same as toxic positivity or outright denying the way things are challenging. Instead, it is about finding the lesson or making meaning out of the situations that suck. For example, you commute an hour each way to work, and it feels like you are losing 10 hours a week that you will never get back. You could let this stress you out and tear you down daily while you deal with this awful commute – or you can use positive reappraisal to recognize that this is YOU time. You can use it as an opportunity to listen to your favorite music and sing at the top of your lungs or to engage in self-education and personal growth using podcasts or audiobooks.

Redefining success is important especially if you have beliefs like “When I am perfect, I will be worthy” or “I’ll be happy/successful/worthy when….” These beliefs around success are not only impossible to achieve, but they are also impossible to measure. We will never reach perfection, and if we wait for a specific number in our bank account or positional title to feel happy and successful – we are likely to be disappointed when we hit that goal and happiness doesn’t magically wash over us. If you catch yourself falling into these belief traps around success, you can check them for their inaccuracies and change them to more valuable thoughts. Maybe success doesn’t mean perfection; maybe you redefine success as cultivating a life of balance, meaning, and fulfillment.

As you build your awareness around your underlying beliefs, you can work to transform your inner world and build your resilience to the stressors of life that will keep coming regardless of your efforts to avoid them.

By being mindful of the signs of burnout and taking proactive steps such as building resilience through developing emotional intelligence (EQ), social intelligence (SQ), meaning-making, and self-awareness, women can manage their stress levels better so that they don’t suffer from burnout in their leadership roles.

Additionally, women need to be aware of any underlying beliefs that lead to perfectionism or people-pleasing behaviors that could put them at risk of burning out so that these beliefs can be checked, challenged, and changed before causing additional damage.

Women are vital players in leading businesses today. Taking steps to build our resilience to burnout is integral to keeping ourselves healthy so we can continue making positive contributions in the world and workplace without sacrificing our well-being.

Take good care of yourselves out there!

-Kayla

If you need support on your burnout recovery journey, schedule a free discovery call with Kayla to see if you are a good fit for the Burnout to Balance coaching program. This 1:1 program contains information, exercises, and individualized support to help you reclaim your time, energy, and passion.