Why is it so hard to accept a "Thank you"?
Posted on July 19, 2023 by Geraint Thomas, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
What happens to our mindset when someone says "thank you" for something you have done for them? Do you accept or reject it?
“Accepting praise is not narcissistic…”
This came out of my mouth the other day when speaking to a coaching client. We were talking about why we have difficulty in accepting any sort of praise. We seem to be very good at accepting criticism, great at self-deprecation and fantastic at turning away a compliment and it got me thinking. What is it about receiving praise or compliments that we find so hard to accept?
Would you turn a friend away if they turned up on your doorstep with a bottle of wine or a home-made cake for no reason apart from being a friend? No, because they are giving you a gift and you would probably consider that to be rude or hurt their feelings, so why do we do it when someone praises us? Praise can be a form of a gift.
My client and I discussed this for some time – we got into considering whether it was a form of narcissism and then it struck me that rather than worrying about the reason why we don’t accept praise, just notice the compliment, how it makes you feel and then rather than bat the compliment away, say “thank you” and accept the gift they are giving you (as if it were a home-made cake).
#gratitude #thankyou #coaching
