Accepting What is Meaningful to You in Career & Relationship

Posted on November 17, 2022 by Nicole Trincia, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

What is the meaning of life? Man’s question of the ages, and with what many people still strive to discover. Viktor Frankl remarkably shared that there is of course no singular meaning of life, but that which is meaningful for you (Man’s Search for Meaning, 1946).

Hobbies, dedicated projects, or a relationship is meaningful if it serves your highest purpose, values, or what is otherwise important to you. People often struggle with “finding meaningful work” or perhaps more significantly- aligning with meaningful work. However, over the past couple of years, we have been afforded a blessing in disguise with increased opportunities for self-reflection. As a result, many people have been emboldened to take those leaps toward pursuing their passions and let go of some former societal ideals.

Those that have chosen different paths, put themselves out there to explore something new, or otherwise expand their role can find increased satisfaction in their claimed meaning. Even if at first they do not secure that newly employed position, fair market value compensation, or even adequate income for their service or craft, they can preserve confidence and pride in the value of committing to their meaningful purpose. Similarly, receiving that recognition, promotion, raise, or another external validation that we may get caught up in is not always the true fulfillment that we seek.

However, if you live your life in daily practice, aligned to what is meaningful to you, and commit to ongoing development, learning, and excellence- essentially “doing the thing” that brings you joy- you are indeed living a meaningful life- serving your life’s purpose. Not somebody else’s life purpose (as western society promotes) but yours. The external benefits will likely manifest- as a secondary gift. Or perhaps, not at all. That perceived significance will wane. You’ve already inherited- embodied- what is gold. If you hold yourself accountable- even responsible to your purpose (as Frankl further proclaims) through your relationships, communication, service to others, and commitment to personal excellence- you will indeed become a Master of Meaning.

Now, where does acceptance meet meaning? Acceptance is essential in allowing yourself to become aware of and recognize what is meaningful to you- without judgment. In the absence of accepting that which you find meaningful is enough (good enough, smart enough, procures enough money, etc.) you will likely block your awareness of it, denying yourself your true joy.

Acceptance also facilitates meaning in considering other perspectives worthy of exploration. You may be called to accept your need for further development or be challenged by some aspect of your desire. Acceptance of your natural imperfection is crucial to staying the course of your endeavor, maintaining motivation, and committing to your passion without false abandonment.

Acceptance may also be most apparent and challenging when facing external events, receiving another’s response, or some outcome beyond our control that doesn’t match what we wanted or expected. Developing the aptitude to accept external circumstances without judgment- nor necessarily approval- honors the values of all. You are no less meaningful to you, as the others are no less meaningful to themselves.

Meaning is found in accepting our lack of knowledge, control of circumstances and people, and the resulting feelings we have about these truths of the human experience, L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. describes in his meta states (Dragon Slaying: Dragons Into Princes, 2000). Acceptance of that which challenges us is enabled by holding space by pausing, becoming comfortable with silence, observing, and breathing freely, all with compassion- without the need for response or action. Focus on accepting and even embracing the moment- however uncomfortable, unexpected, and disappointing it may be with curiosity. What may be learned or developed from this seemingly awkward place? What golden insights bubble up from the messy brew of emotions? Stay curious about what is revealed when all defenses, pretenses, expectations, and guards are dropped. When we stop and relax into acceptance, we allow ourselves to be seen, more authentic, more ourselves, more connected, and present to our meaning- our values and our life purpose.

Acceptance finds meaning by allowing for it. Allowing for meaning enables embracing our purpose, to fully live our most satisfying existence- for each and every one of us. In the words of Ana Forrest, “That which is sacred within me, salutes that which is sacred in you- Namaste”. In order to salute, and honor what is sacred, and meaningful to another we must first become aware of, through acceptance, what is sacred and meaningful to ourselves.

~Namaste

Nicole Trincia is a Certified MBI Wayfinder Life Coach and active San Francisco Chapter ICF Member in progress to obtaining ICF Certification by year-end 2022. She shares a background in psychology, education, and holistic wellness, with a Master’s in Education and a Bachelor’s in Psychology. She has over 20 years of combined teaching, wellness, and coaching experience, specializing in career and relationship coaching. She partners with curious and courageous individuals in the workplace and independently to empower them to live authentically and fully.