How to Connect More in Your Romantic Relationship

Posted on May 02, 2022 by Tamara Pflug, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Do you want to connect more in your romantic relationship?

What does connection look like? 

This is the very first question to ask yourself!

Lots of people want more connection in their life but… What does connection actually look like to you?

How would you define that connection that you have to a special person?

The easiest way to answer that question is to picture a relationship that you have (or that you want!) and to imagine you being connected to that person.

What does it look like?

What I hear often from my life coaching clients is that they are hugging that person, they are smiling at that person, or maybe that it’s an unexplainable feeling of “connection”!

What does that look like for you?

Maybe it’s related to the language of love!

To me, talking about something with a person and holding tight is definitely what creates a special connection! What is it for you?

An example: A few questions to ask!

One way that I think is helping to connect more with somebody (and this actually works no matter the nature of the relationship!) is by asking more questions!

So, you can initiate a quality conversation/discussion with that person by asking them some kind of questions such as:

1. What do you think about the time we are living in right now?

2. In what period of time would you have preferred to live?

3. What is one memory of your childhood that you remember and why?

4. What is one decision you made and would make again today?

5. How does a perfect day look like to you?

6. What qualities are important to you in friendship?

7. What do you think about ghosts/aliens…?

8. What is the purpose of life for you?

9. Tell me something nobody knows about you!

I like also the idea of asking them: Tell me something I don’t know! It’s FUN! And it definitely help you connect more in your romantic relationship!

Most of the time, these questions can be the start of some very interesting conversations, things you maybe never heard before, even if you know each other for a long time or not!

When the person is answering, genuinely listen to what they are sharing!

Try to keep making more comments… Ask more questions, be curious! Let yourself be entertained by what they are sharing!

No need to judge, compare, just be right here right now! :)

Connection is created in our heads…

Actually and you probably know it… 

The feeling of “connection” is created in our head, by our own thoughts!

This is the reason why in the same situation, someone may feel a connection and someone a separation!

Because it all depends on what thoughts we have…

So, if you want to feel more connection, what thoughts would you need to think and of course, to BELIEVE?

From my experience and my life coaching client’s experiences, a few thoughts could be:

I love being with that person right now!
This person is so special to me!
We share so many things.
This person is so important to me.
I’m having such a good time with that person.
All is well in the world, I’m right here right now with this person, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

I think you got the idea! :)

So, think about it for yourself!

What thoughts do you want to choose to think and believe on purpose to feel a connection toward that person?

By the way, I talked before about the idea of feeling connection instead of separation with someone we love (even we don’t love!).

I have a podcast and post about this but I just want to remind you that you can always choose to think thoughts that will make you feel a connection to that person instead of separation.

Focus on what brings you together instead of what tears you apart and makes you different.

Deep down, of course, it all depends on what you want to feel! :)

What connection do you want with yourself…

Of course and it is essential to mention it…

What does connection look like when you think about being more connected to yourself?

To me, for example, it’s about respecting my needs and what I want at that moment.

It can be simply sitting down on the couch and reading a few pages of a book.

Connection is really about doing something that will make me feel good, it’s about taking care of myself.

It can also be allowing an emotion, having my own back, and trusting that I’ll be okay.

The relationship with ourselves is very important! Isn’t the most important relationship in our life actually? ;)

How it’s helping build confidence…

And of course, creating that special connection to yourself will help you boost your confidence.

You’re going to feel much more connected to yourself, you’re going to know yourself better, and feel “at home” inside of you!

All of these elements can help you tremendously build your confidence without a doubt! :)

There are only upsides to trying it!

Your next action…

So, the very first thing to do is really to ask you what does connection looks like to you? 

It can look different for everyone, so really ask yourself: How does it look to YOU?

How would you know that you’re being connected to that other person? What makes the difference?

And then, after answering that question, think about the questions that I wrote above.

Could you try to ask them next time you want to create a moment of quality with someone you love?

Even on a date too, even when you don’t love that person yet! ;)

To sum up! 

As you can see, the connection is created from our thoughts.

So, we have full control over feeling connected to other people.

What will your way look like? So you can connect more in your romantic relationship!

We can definitely discuss it together, I would love to give you more clarity and guidance! :)

Reach out, I can’t wait to talk about it with you!