Are you self sabotaging your success in Real Estate
Posted on October 01, 2020 by Keely Capel, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.
There can be a lot of deep issues at the root of why you’re self sabotaging your real estate success. Yet by understanding why will turn it around
Why you do it and how to stop it
Self sabotaging your real estate success can come in a very discreet manner. Therefore it can be so subtle that you may not even realise that you’re getting in your own way.
There can be a variety of reasons underpinning why you are self sabotaging. Ranging from dysfunctional habits or engrained beliefs to literally fearing being successful. Which every the reason, the thoughts these produce, play out in how we behave. Meaning we adopt behaviours that work against the success we are trying to achieve. Supported the conscious or subconscious thoughts we have attached to our beliefs, habits and fears.
It’s like a coping mechanism you throw in place to save yourself. From the pain, embarrassment or disappointment if you might experience if things don’t turn out the way you hoped.
What does self sabotage look like?
To give example, here are just a few self sabotaging thoughts you might find yourself having.;
I couldn’t achieve the same level of success as the top producing agents
I don’t have the same level of knowledge as successful agents
I don’t talk like the same way as other successful realtors
I don’t look or dress anywhere near as good as those real estate agents that are always at the top
I’m not able to act the same way top producing agents do
I can’t engage with prospects right now I’ve had a bad day. Trying to prospect now is going to just end up going horribly wrong
I’m not feeling confident right now, so if I just do x or Z I will have the confidence I need then.
I don’t know how to connect with people in a way I feel comfortable with that gets my message across.
Furthermore when you are self sabotaging, you will be looking at things from a lose/win perspective. To say that, you will want other people to like you. That you want to be nice to them and accommodate all your clients needs, but you won’t be thinking about what you stand to gain out of the transaction.
Hence you’ll lose out whilst the person you’re dealing with will come out winning. It’s also means that the clients you really want on side are actually less likely to ensure you gain from the experience. As they perceive you as being a push over, and probably have little respect for you.
As a result, you will find yourself in situations that are not beneficial, create stress and leaving you feeling exhausted. Which will continue to feed the negative mindset and thus the cycle continues.
You will remain focused on the negative. Always thinking about what you don’t want as opposed to what you do want. Your mindset will be that of lack off and scarcity. Leading your subconscious brain will take actions to ensure you receive just.
As again, our beliefs create our reality. The more you focus on what you don’t want. The less likely you will be to get what you do want. Placing success just outside of reaching distance.Moving from self sabotage to success.
It’s actually a fairly simple process, when laid out. The challenge however is in doing the inner work that is required.
You need to understanding the underlying beliefs you have. That are causing you to think things like i’m not good enough. When you become aware of where those belief comes from. Then you have the ability to choose whether you wish to keep thinking it. Or you can begin working on releasing that belief and replacing it with a more positive and empowering one. Reframing your thoughts from from I’m not good enough to I am good enough.
Reframing these negative thoughts is an ongoing process. You will become aware as you are thinking them. Enabling you to catch yourself and stop it in its tracks.
A great technique for this; is literally telling yourself to STOP the moment you realise you are thinking a negative thought. This allows you to break the cycle of the negative thoughts, followed by behaviour. Take a more to breath deeply and as you do, reframe that negative thought into a positive one.
i.e Take “i’m can’t make sales” and turn it into “I can make sales!”
If you have the time. Take a few minutes to really focus in on the things you do want. Write these down in a clear precise positive and present manner. As though you have already achieved them. Sit and really feel how it feels to have achieved all your goals. This is a great exercise to under regularly, at the start of each day or week. It helps you to become intentional in taking actions that will generate you the result you are really after.
Finally work on changing your attitude from lose/win to win/win. When you enter into these interactions give time to allow yourself to feel and listen to your intuition. If its doesn’t sit comfortably with you then it means your in a lose/win situation.
Look at how you can make it a win/win and communication this with the other party. If you can’t come up with a win for both parties, then pull out. Again this links back to those underlying beliefs you hold, Such as “I am not good enough.”
To move past this, you need to win the respect of your clients. Then they won’t feel able to walk all over you. So looking for a win/win is the quickest way to win their respect.
There can be a lot of deep issues at the root of why you’re self sabotaging your real estate success. Yet by understanding why, you can begin to implement techniques like those above to help you on your way. It may require more in-depth work to really get to the bottom and reverse it completely. However at least you should now be on the right path towards achieving success in real estate.
