Listening To The Whispers Of Your Heart

Posted on September 26, 2020 by Annie Kip, PCC, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.

Confidence from the outside-in is based on getting really clear about how you want to feel first, and then making choices which will get you closer to that feeling. Your feelings and the hundreds of ordinary choices you make everyday are tools you can use to create the experiences you want to have in your life.

This article will share a method I teach to clients, that you can use to use your choices to figure out what works for you and what doesn’t help you get the feeling you want.

When it comes to making choices – we’re all different. Some people have very strong feelings and other say they don’t know what they like or want. One person might like something that another person can’t stand. There’s no right or wrong or ultimate authority – it all comes down to your unique preferences.

But have you ever wondered how you know what your preferences are?

Preferences come from a feeling within us. We can’t always say why – we just know.

I call these bits of information “whispers.”

If you think about it, whenever we are choosing what we want to wear or buy, it’s always based on a feeling. We just “like” something better than something else. Sure, this may be based on past experience or whatever is familiar to you, but it always comes back to the feeling a certain choice gives you.

Little bits of feedback – these whispers – are there for you all the time, if you listen. These are subtle indicators you get in reaction to what you see and do all day. This is real-time feedback that’s available to everyone.

The info you get is sometimes very loud and pushy, but I’ve found that the really good, juicy info sometimes feels – more like a whisper.

The whisper is sometimes so quiet, you can barely hear it.

Other times, you miss the whisper completely because it came and went so fast.

Something might catch your eye or you notice a color or a style or a shape and it just strikes you differently than anything else. Or, you might have a moment of knowing or a nice, content feeling – or a even a feeling state that is so delicious and wonderful that you want to stay in it as long as possible – but it can slip away just as quietly as it came.

I call these moments “whispers” – because they can be like smoke or a slippery thing that’s hard to hold onto. You don’t always know where the feeling comes from or where it goes. Sometimes, you just have a memory of the good feeling.

These “whispers” are your clues to the choices you can make which will delight you. They are the way you can start using your choices to create the experiences and feelings that will make up the life you want to live.

No matter who you are or how much you think you don’t have a particular style or even know what you want – you do know when something lights you up.

When something delights you – you can feel it. It’s one of those things that you know when you see it.

The whispers tell you what makes your heart sing – and you can get more and more information from these whispers, the more you pay attention to them.

Start by taking the time to try to notice if you’re have a reaction at all. Linger on the feeling as long as you can. Put a name on it, if possible.

It’s a process and a practice that you can get better at.

When we’re young, we tend to be good at this. We have such visceral reactions – we like and don’t like things strongly. I think we’re more in touch with how we feel because we haven’t had as many experiences compromising and pleasing other people – which tends to make us lose track of our own preferences.

I know this was true for me not so long ago and I’ve heard other people at mid-life say they don’t even know what they like anymore – they’ve been putting their needs last for so long.

Over the years, there’ve been plenty of times when I didn’t listen to my own whispers. I didn’t even realize that there were whispers I could use to help myself make better choices. I relied on other people’s preferences (parents, friends, spouse), thinking that I was just being flexible and adaptable. I had to live with the consequences of these careless choices for a long time, until I came to realize that they didn’t make me feel good.

I didn’t realize how big an impact my default choices had on me, until I let myself really pay attention to what delighted me.

I wish I hadn’t wasted so many years not paying attention to my whispers – but I am grateful for the lessons I learned.

These days, I’m much better at recognizing the whispers and taking the time to pay attention to what they’re telling me. I’m able to notice them and hold onto them long enough for them to take shape and become real feelings. I can identify what delights me and what just makes me feel tired and sad.

One example of listening to my whispers happened with my home.

I have always been aware that outside living space makes me feel abundant and full of possibility. It also makes me feel content and peaceful. I especially love how free it feels to be outside at night listening to the crickets and feeling the evening cooling.

But, in New England, where I live, dusk is when the mosquitoes come out, so I hadn’t been able to be outside at dusk as much as I would like. I always had a feeling that I wanted something more.

When I finally listened to what my whispers were telling me, I realized that the thing I wanted most of all from my home was a screen porch.

This desire has been whispering to me for years, but it felt like a real extravagance. I knew the expense of this screen porch was a bit of a stretch, but I trusted my whispers and felt so strongly that it would affect the quality of my life that I decided to build it.

It’s a pretty simple porch, but now, every time I sit on that screen porch I’m filled with gratitude. I have a deep, happy, satisfied appreciation for that space. I go out there any chance I get – and enjoy my breakfast, or the end of the work day, or listen to a rain storm, or just doze on a lazy day – I am sooooo glad I listened to the whispers.

When you’re in a space that delights you, you can feel it in your bones.

You might notice this feeling in certain rooms of your house. Or at a friends home, in a office, or building lobby, or even a store. You know it because it feels comfortable, right, and calm. It can also make you feel energized and focused. When you are surrounded by colors and textures and shapes and sizes and objects that delight you, you just feel more alive.

This can happen with any choice you make. All of the big and small, ordinary and important choices are opportunities to listen to the whispers and create the feeling you want in your life.

Whispers are the key to figuring out what you want.

What makes one person feel good may not work for another person. The important thing is to start listening to the whispers and grab onto the feedback they’re giving you.

Really try to listen, because your whispers are telling you what will make you happy.

I love helping people hear their own whispers. I work with my clients and friends to tease out what it is they want to feel. We figure out what they want and how to create it. I love seeing how certain details can lift people up and make them feel like their best selves.

The small, ordinary choices we make have far-reaching impact on our lives.

This week, I encourage you to see if you can hear them.

They are there, ready to help you build the life you want to live, with every little decision you make throughout the day. This is the power of listening to your “whispers”