Permission To Be Happy

Posted on September 24, 2020 by Annie Kip, PCC, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.

What if there was one thing you could do every day that would make everything else you did better?

What if that one thing also made other people’s lives better?

That one thing would be pretty important to do everyday, don’t you think?

Well — I believe that one thing – is to find a way to be happy.

I think being happy is your most important job.

This isn’t something that people always feel comfortable with. In fact, some people might even feel it’s selfish to pursue their own happiness. I know it’s taken me a while to come to terms with even saying this out loud.

But I believe this is true. With all my heart.

So today, I’m going to share with you:

1) How I came to the conclusion that being happy is your most important job.
2) The secret that ties it all together.
3) Why I think doing your most important job well – is a service to others.

Of course, being “happy” is very subjective. It means different things to different people at different times. I’m not suggesting that you should or would be able to make yourself happy by deliberately making other people un-happy.

I’m also certainly not pretending that my life has been smooth sailing. I’m not able to stay happy all of the time – but I try. I do believe it’s worth striving for…and here’s why.

I came to this conclusion over years of working with clients. I’m a professional coach now – but previously, I worked as an interior decorator and a personal stylist and even before that I was with Nike and Ralph Lauren in marketing and brand building.

Whenever my design and styling clients wanted to make changes in their home or update their wardrobe – I realized they wanted more than just a pretty room or a great looking clothes. They wanted a different experience in their lives. They actually wanted to feel something different.

They wanted a better feeling than what they are currently experiencing.

Which was exactly what we did at Nike and Ralph Lauren.

At Nike, every detail – the displays, the soundtrack, the lighting – was designed to give the customers an experience of feeling more connected to their athletic heroes.

The same was true of my work at Polo Ralph Lauren. People loved how it felt to shop in the gorgeous Polo Shops we built. Wearing Ralph Lauren clothes actually made them feel good about themselves. Our customers wanted to live Ralph’s glamorous polo lifestyle and the clothes let them feel more like the people they aspired to be.

We’re all striving for what we really want. I know this is true for me as well.

It isn’t about designer labels for me, but my days are better when I’m wearing my favorite clothes and just a few minutes of being in a space that lifts me up, (like my screened porch) can change my mood entirely.

The way I feel makes it easier to get through a busy evening of making dinner, driving to activities, and making sure my kids do their homework.

When people feel good inside, they have better experiences and their lives are just easier. All of this came together for me – my past work, my clients now, and even my own personal experiences to show me that how people feel inside really affects the quality of their lives.

This isn’t about spending lots of money or buying things. It’s about doing all of the simple, ordinary things you do everyday with deliberate choice. Intentionally making choices that will make you feel good.

A happy state of being affects every aspect of your life and it is completely within your reach.

You can do this for yourself – no matter your circumstances! In fact, you have all of the tools you need right now.

The key is to get really crystal clear on how you want to feel first, and then make choices which will give you access to that feeling. This is accessing confidence from the outside-in.

Feelings are powerful, but they aren’t facts. They can be managed and created out of nothing.
For example: imagine a time when you were really scared. Maybe it was a haunted house when you were a kid or even a nightmare. You can genuinely feel afraid, even if there’s no actual danger.

By the same token, you can actually be in grave danger and feel completely safe, because you had no idea you were in a dangerous situation.

A few years ago, this happened to me. My kids and I were on a road trip in California (where I grew up!) and were driving through the middle of nowhere from Yosemite to the coast. There no cars, no nothing for miles but the rolling highway. I wasn’t really concerned when I noticed that the gas tank was low, because I figured it couldn’t be that much further. Besides, I had AAA for emergencies.

Well, it was a lot farther than I thought and it wasn’t until we literally coasted back into civilization right at dusk that I realized – there was no cell service out there. I had almost gotten us stuck on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere, in the pitch black night. With no flashlight and no way to get help. It was either lucky or unlucky that we had no idea how dangerous that was.

You don’t have to go too far into the “woo woo” to see that feelings are very powerful – they create your thoughts – which result in your experiences.

We act on what we feel inside.
This is where my passion lies – right at this intersection of personal style and personal development.

The style choices you make everyday are a tool you can use to feel the way you want to feel.

I believe we can reverse engineer the feelings we want. Starting with the feeling we want and using our personal style choices – at home, in our wardrobe. Even our style of interacting with people – intentionally create the experiences we want to have.

Starting with the emotions is a faster, easier, more authentic way to get into the happier feeling state that we all want to live in.
3) In fact, I believe when you’re in a “happy” feeling state, doing your most important job very well – you’re actually doing a service for the people around you – and I’ll tell you why.

Think about it, imagine you’re driving to work, listening to your favorite song.
You’re kind of moving in your seat and tapping the steering wheel, it feels really good.
And if you let yourself really belt it out it feels amazing.
Your whole body feels good!

When you walk into your work in this happier state of mind, everything’s just easier.
You’re friendly to strangers.
Frustrations don’t bother you as much.
On top of that, people seem more willing to help you.
They want to be on your team and they pick you for their team.

You’re doing a service by being happy because – the way you feel inside, shows on the outside. It affects other people. There’s a ripple effect that you can start just by just reaching for your own happier feeling.

When the people around you sense your good feeling – as my kids do after I’ve spent some time on my porch – they’re less stressed. This makes them more open and less likely to get upset over small things. They’re also more apt to be generous and kind with other people.

Nothing’s changed here, but a feeling.

Having my favorite tea in my favorite chair every morning, starts my day off right. I know when I’m feeling good, I’m more inclined to give a compliment or hold a door. Doing nice things makes me feel happier too.

The world just works better, when people feel good inside.

So why wouldn’t you want to create this experience for yourself and others more of the time?

This is your permission to actively pursue happiness everyday.

This isn’t about money or prestige or impressing other people. This is about you and what genuinely lifts you up.

You can make choices everyday and set up your world to help you do your most important job well.

Wear your favorite clothes – all the time. Stop wearing the clothes from the back of your closet – just because you think you should.

Make your space a place that you love. You don’t have wait until you’re moving to paint your walls a color you love. Get rid of possessions that drag you down.

Choose to interact in ways that light you up. Make time to be kind and see how much goodness you can pump out into the world with your own good feelings.

And…the next time you’re buying something, choose carefully. Maybe it’s worth splurging, if it’s the extra comfortable one or the one you really like best.

Doing your most important job well – being happy more and more of the time – simply requires that you become aware. Notice the ordinary choices you make everyday and intentionally use them as a powerful tool to shape the life you want to live.