"You Do You" Is Your Biggest Roadblock
Posted on April 24, 2020 by Lucy Adams BSEd MS PCC, One of Thousands of ADD ADHD Coaches on Noomii.
Coach Lucy Adams challenges you to look beyond the platitude "You do you" to see how that encouragement holds you back from being your best self.
YOU are a fabulous person with many wonderful qualities. The attributes you share with the world make it a better place. And as your coach, I would tell you that the more specific you can be when naming those attributes the more beneficial it is in fully appreciating who you are in this very moment and who you are becoming as you grow toward your goals.
But I would NEVER tell you, “You just do you.” NEVER. Saying those words to you would be like telling you that I have no confidence in your quest for self-development. It would be like telling you to surrender to your current circumstances, to be content with good enough, to quit your curiosity about what could be.
Clinging to the comfort (and cop out) of “You do you” is your biggest roadblock.
YES, you are great now. YES, people appreciate you for the impact you make daily. YES, you contribute value just by being you.
But does that mean you are being the best YOU you can be?
My youngest son is intelligent, witty, ambitious, determined, athletic, and academically gifted. When he sets his mind on achieving something, he works at it until he succeeds. His logic and talent for analysis made him a formidable opponent on a playing field and in the classroom. His charisma makes him a natural leader. His empathy, loyalty, and affection make him an excellent friend.
BUT, he doesn’t always apply his abilities in every situation. Sometimes, he’s more interested in getting laughter from his peers than in leading them. Sometimes he uses his charisma to lead them to where they should not go. He finds a person’s line in the sand and tests it, tests it, tests it. He’s been known to use his talents to achieve success in undesirable venues and pursuits. From the day he started preschool through to his high school graduation, parent-teacher conferences always began with the words, “He has so much potential, but…” His tendency to settle for good enough has made his road, and my journey with him on it, very rocky. We’re talking boulders in the path.
I love my son. I love who he is. I’m proud of him. And I would never tell him, “You just do you.”
Since he was just a tyke, my daily mantra to him has been, “Be the best Smith you can today.” I challenge him not to settle for just being himself, but to be the very best version of himself that he can be.
He’s the first to tell you that the challenge isn’t easy. And that every day he has to wake up and recommit to being the best version of himself. And that figuring that out takes effort. It takes relying on someone he can trust to help him sort out who that best version is and how he can grow into that version. He’s also the first to tell you that rising to that challenge has crushed boulders into sand.
What about you? How do you feel if someone says, “You do you”? What roadblocks is it causing in your drive to achieve goals? What would be different if you received the message, “You do the best you can today”? Do you want to settle for good enough or do you want to grow into your full potential? What’s your next step in making that happen?
