5 Strategies for Better Communication During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Posted on April 01, 2020 by Lucy Adams BSEd MS PCC, One of Thousands of ADD ADHD Coaches on Noomii.

Social distancing and stay-at-home orders put a strain on us and our relationships. We’re made to engage with each other. Therefore, as we navigate this COVID-19 new normal, we naturally seek alternatives to face-to-face communication, and in this age of digital media it isn’t hard to find a platform to support our need to engage.

Social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn aid us in interacting with our larger networks. Video platforms such as Tictoc and YouTube allow us to expand our reach beyond friends, family, and acquaintances. Zoom and HouseParty apps enable us to host virtual face-to-face gatherings with a few friends or family members at once. Apps like GroupMe and even good old-fashioned texting or email help us share updates, article links, and memes, among other things.

As our comfort with communication via these and similar resources broadens, the communication difficulties they present threaten to hinder and hurt our relationships. The skills we use during face-to-face, in person interactions are not as effective with digital communication, causing it to be counterproductive.

Social Media Is Not a Soapbox
When we feel anxious, and we all feel anxious to some degree right now, we experience a driving need to express ourselves. We believe that by telling others how we feel we can alleviate our own stress and worry. And certainly, sharing feelings with a support group generally goes a long way in helping us feel better.

As of late, however, I’ve noticed people using their social media platforms as forums for getting things off their chests, generally by criticizing how others are handling the gravity of this pandemic situation or by adding to the chaos and confusion of current information. This creates a bandwagon of negativity and/or a rising wave of panic and misinformation that fuels your online community’s, and your own, angst.

Instead of trying to connect with others through a social media rant, try connecting with them by learning something about them and giving them an opportunity to share and exchange ideas. Spur a real conversation by asking questions. Some good starters are: Hey parents! What strategies are you using to help your children navigate online learning?; Who has a great card game they can share?; How are you making the most of your time at home?; I’m thinking about painting my kitchen. Paint color suggestions?

Mundane queries can inspire people to collaborate and grow closer despite the physical divide.

The Internet is Forever
A good number of folks of all ages are posting video documentation of their pandemic experience for the world to view. Some of us are tuning in to these video diaries because it’s comforting to know that we’re not alone in what we’re going through.

The rule of thumb for this type of communication is to remember that whatever you upload to the Internet today will be there forever. Prior to posting, get consent from others who may appear in the video. Be prudent about the content you choose to post. Not only can it affect the quality of current relationships, it can have lasting personal and professional repercussions, good and/or bad, well into the future.

The Face of Virtual Face-to-Face
Have you participated in a group video chat with friends? I find that the upside of COVID-19 is that it has prompted both near-and-dear friends and friends I’ve fallen out of touch with to gather our various connections for group video chats. It’s been fantastic to visit more regularly.

I’ve noticed something peculiar to these video chats, though. That is, they are primarily just faces chatting, which means body language and environmental backgound that normally accompanies verbal conversation is absent. This sets the stage for potential misunderstanding. Family or friend relationships that are already strained may take a downward spiral if we aren’t cognizant that our body language and surroundings cannot be appreciated by the other participants in the chat.

For example, while on a video chat last week with old college friends, I noticed that one of the women was looking away almost the entire time. She made very little eye contact with the screen and, thus, the rest of us on the video call. Initially, I interpreted her lack of eye contact as an indication that she was disengaged and that talking with us wasn’t important to her. Later in the call, she turned her phone around to show us a puppy playing in her yard.

Had she not revealed that she’d been monitoring the status of her pup, the rest of us probably would have ended the call with all sorts of erroneous assumptions about this friend’s behavior, motives, intents, and so forth.

While on video calls: make eye contact with the screen; verbally alert the people with whom you’re talking to something or someone distracting you (maybe even turn the screen to show them); keep the calls to about 10 minutes so that everyone’s interest and enthusiasm remains high throughout the call.

The Printed Word
Yes, there are still those among us who text and email to individuals and to groups. Typed messages are a quick and easy way to deliver information without getting bogged down in a present-moment, full attention conversation or, in the case of a group message or email, without making multiple phone calls or sending multiple messages to say the same thing over and over.

Unfortunately, what’s missing from video calls is also missing from texts and emails ten times over. The message stands alone without body language, without facial expressions, without tone of voice, without eye contact, and without a strong tether to the person who sent it. The message is essentially disembodied, which lends it to all manner of misinterpretation.

It’s critically important that typed messages don’t become sniped messages. One of the best ways to do this is to personalize messages with greetings – “Hello Friends” – and closures – “Stay well.” Use typed messages to share factual information and ask straightforward questions, not to share feelings, not to air assumptions about another person’s feelings or behaviors, not to deliver lengthy explanations for why you’re sending the message.

This is NOT a straightforward question: I know Aunt Sally will have her own opinion on this, but how does everyone feel about a recipe exchange amongst the family?

This IS a straightforward question: Who would like to participate in a recipe exchange amongst the family?

Your reply to a message is as important as the original message itself. Follow the same rules, even if you feel provoked by the original message or its sender. Send a factual response that is not accompanied by emotion, lengthy explanation, or assumptions. If the response is a question, ask a straightforward question. Only “reply all” if your response is useful to all.

When to Use the Phone
With so many fun and free digital communication options available at our fingertips, we often forget to use the phone. During this period of social distancing and stay-at-home orders, it remains a reliable and effective means of one-on-one engagement. Though conference calls are also an alternative method of communication, let’s consider the one-on-one call for our purposes.

The downside of a phone call is that tone of voice is the only supplement to the message and its meaning. The upside of a phone call is that it’s the best way, when we can’t speak in person, to deliver a negative message, to disagree with someone, to debate a sticky issue.

To make a phone conversation of this nature most successful, avoid imparting an emotional message, ask straightforward questions, don’t qualify your message or give lengthy rambling explanations for it, listen as the other person speaks, and respond specifically to what he or she said.

If you find that you’re struggling with personal or professional relationships and communication, it’s important to seek help. Don’t go it alone. A good coach is an excellent resource for developing better communication strategies in these trying times of COVID-19 and beyond.