Our Shadow Side and How it Affects Us and Our Children

Posted on February 23, 2020 by Andromeda Limmen Chehab, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

Our shadow is created by suppressed parts or experiences of ourselves, they start living in the shadow or in the dark. It’s our “dark side” perhaps. It’s also, most likely, the side of us that is absorbed by our children until the age of seven years old. These are the Early Childhood Years. We consider ourselves one with our parents and the actual separation or cutting of the umbilical cord can take many, many, years for us to realize or complete. Whatever was not solved in one generation of parents, is carried on to the next generation. Our children inherit our legacy, our inheritance, and continue our work for us. Unfairly so to speak. Because is it their sadness, anger or fear? Or is it their grandmother’s or their parent’s? Our ancestors pass on a whole school of karmic lessons and unresolved family issues.

Children see us more purely. They are not accustomed to the countless masks we wear to socially adapt to life and our surroundings. They see our existence in the light and in the dark. This is also what conscious parenting is about. Seeing the reflection of your own anger, fear, sadness and overall frustration in the relationship and reflection of your child. Through becoming aware, pausing the moment and acknowledging that you are acting from your own anger, fear, sadness you can choose another kind of response. communication and solution towards your child. In the meantime, it is a good exercise for you to bring the shadow to the light and start working with the hidden agenda. The hidden agenda might be that you were never seen as a child, that you were shamed, that you are dealing with divorced parents, that you carry guilt, that you are disappointed, that you have seen too much of humanity or too little of it. Any imbalance affects us fragile beings and brings forth a lot of soul work.

Balance Freedom and Framework

How do you want your child to know life? To really know life
Don’t underestimate this effect. Think for yourself?
How do you see life?
Did you choose one from the list?
What did your parents teach you about life?
When you look at your struggles and problems, what do they seem to be?
On an unconscious level?
Can you see how these stem from one particular belief about what life is?
Which applies most to yours?
When someone annoys, irritates or pisses us off, it usually means that you are triggered in your shadow. You are like them, but you have not yet embraced it. If you call someone stubborn from an emotional response, a trigger, then you are likely to be stubborn yourself. If you say someone has no remorse, it is likely you feel that you have no remorse or you are looking to get in touch with your own feelings.

Perhaps you were triggered by a situation or person because it is not “fair” in your beliefs or because they made you feel “small and weak”. All these traits and qualities usually will refer back to the time when we were small, weak and things were simply not fair; the early childhood years. This is the reason for the adult version to come to terms with those feelings that were shamed, the emotions that were blocked and those sides of ourselves that were never accepted socially or even by ourselves. It’s time to come out of the dark and play!

The shadow side will seem much scarier than they really are. The fear holds us back from embracing ourselves “as is”. Because in a past situation we were not allowed to be as we were, there were scary consequences to the situation of being ourselves, so we had to alter ourselves to a more acceptable being for others and for ourselves not to get into trouble again. It’s a terrible place to be and through self-work, we can heal this darkness until the darkness is not so scary anymore.

The Dark Side of Humanity
We have a shadow side as a person, and as a people as a whole. And that shadow side of humanity is strong. Our history is written in the Akashic records and it holds a strong conscious of our “fallen angelic” part. In Christianity, this part is called Satan and satanic. What is and what is not satanic is debated, because even pedophilia and child sacrifice is not considered satanic by certain people in business and media of worshipping cults. There have been many stories, testimonies, cases, and, especially in the showbiz industry. Both cases, that of pedophilia and child sacrifice should not be taken lightly by parents. All signs of their child’s wellbeing should be kept in closed guard. Each neighbor, caretaker, teacher, aunt or uncle is a potential threat to their sexual wellbeing.

This is exactly why children should be raised respectfully and confidently in order for them to not welcome any negative, abusive behavior of external force. They should also trust you enough, be close to you, in order to tell their story if anything ever did happen or if they felt uncomfortable with someone. They have the right to protect themselves and stand up for themselves and it is to be taken utterly seriously as we adults tend to overrule their needs. Another place of satanic rituals is the church. It is the place you least expect it and it is the place where such rituals are continuously performed and promoted. Just be aware and stand up for the children if you see anything off guard.