Every Day is My Birthday: Gifts and Presence
Posted on February 10, 2020 by Joseph Domask, One of Thousands of Performance Coaches on Noomii.
Beyond simply choosing to recognize and receive gifts, I can give gifts to myself and to others each and every day. Every day can be my birthday.
Every Day is My Birthday! What a lovely thought, and one that I know I have heard my children wish for on more than one occasion. “Dad, why can’t every day be my birthday?” The beauty of children, among other things, is that they often articulate such profound thoughts and ideas if we slow down to really listen to them. I recently celebrated my own birthday and had some time to myself early that morning running on the trails in woods close by (a small birthday gift to myself). I thought of what a simple and wonderful gift I had for myself, time to run, to be free, to experience nature, to experience a bit of “flow” early in the day. Happy birthday I said to myself, congratulating myself on the gift I chose to give and receive.
As I thought this through more, I thought about all the different gifts in life that we too often take for granted and simply fail to recognize as gifts. Can we (can I) not better recognize the gifts that I receive each and every day? each and every moment? Can we not take in every day as if every day truly was a birthday (maybe my own little secret), recognizing that I can choose to receive unlimited numbers of gifts every day. Every day can be my birthday…every day can be an endless flow of gifts coming in. My kids were really onto something here with this concept. Beyond simply choosing to recognize and receive gifts, I can give gifts to myself and to others each and every day. I simply have to choose to do so, name it, grant it, receive it, and appreciate it.
Taking this a step or two further, what gifts often come to us in the form of pain, anguish, anxiety, frustration, conflict, heartache, and more? Can these unwanted gifts be received as welcome gifts, as gifts that are hiding below the surface? Each hurdle, each challenge, each obstacle that we receive or that are thrust upon us really can be received as gifts — gifts that push us to overcome, to step up, to grow from, to become stronger versions of ourselves. One small anecdote — when I broke my foot while working landscaping one summer in college, I couldn’t work or play sports, but I dug out some books from my parent’s “Great Books” library and read The Agony and the Ecstasy, War and Peace, Crime and Punishment, and a few other greats. I would have otherwise never taken the time to discover such incredible classic works of art.
One other anecdote — a few years ago, I nearly lost my life after a bike accident, experienced a collapsed lung, loss of more than 60% of my blood, massive internal bleeding, and underwent multiple surgeries. I was lucky to survive and return to my regular life after many months of recovery. While I would not wish this experience upon anyone, I grew immensely from the experience, acquiring a deep appreciation for the fragility of life and the preciousness of every moment alive. I gained perspective, time to reflect, time to think and write, and time to give thanks for each and every day, each and every breath that my lungs could receive. I would never seek out this experience, but I couldn’t imagine being able to receive these immeasurable gifts without such painful and life-threatening events. Certainly, there are limits to how far this can go, but by and large, so many of the great challenges and obstacles that are thrown at us throughout life are ultimately the greatest gifts that we can receive in life, if we come to terms with them and receive them as such.
Helen Keller’s story is one of my greatest inspirations. She took the ‘gift’ of blindness and deafness, and, after many brutal years of darkness, loneliness, and deep frustration, she overcame these immense obstacles and in turn gave herself so many incredible gifts of learning, knowledge, education, wisdom, spirituality, world travel, and so much more. Furthermore, she gave back by writing books (publishing 12 during her lifetime), sharing her stories, giving speeches, founding new organizations (including co-founding the American Civil Liberties Union), and serving as an inspiration for countless numbers of individuals as they come to grips with their own hardships. I think back on all the large and small setbacks I have suffered over the decades and ponder where I was able to receive some as gifts and many others simply as the deep injustices and burdens they presented, the kicks in the stomach (metaphorical and otherwise) and punches in the face.
So, where to we take this? The birthday concept and the gift-receiving mindset can be received and advanced or ignored however we like. I like to start the day by reminding myself what gifts I have been granted, what gifts I want to give myself, and what gifts I can grant to others. I don’t want to give the gift of a broken foot, collapsed lung, or loss of sight to anyone, but I can offer other small gifts of kindness and generosity every day to people who are struggling to make it through each day, often with hidden but profound internal burdens of their own.
And, what about presents or “presence” as highlighted in the title of this reflection. “Presence” is truly one of the greatest gifts that we can not only give to ourselves but that we can give to others. Being present in the moment. How often have we heard about that importance of that? Nowadays, we understand presence as mindfulness. What greater gift can you grant to those in need of a little inspiration, a little guidance, a little reassurance than your presence? What greater gift can you give to yourself than a little presence in the moment? What better way to grant birthdays to your own children, spouse, family, and friends than to give them your presence? Write that letter, make that phone call, give that recognition, show that sign of praise, appreciation, or acceptance.
Can you identify some hidden gifts that you have received in the past week, month, or year? What happened during that time? Did you recognize those gifts? What can you do to position yourself to better give and receive gifts and presence? How might you be able to celebrate every day as your birthday?
