3 Steps That Will Help You To Reach Your Goal

Posted on December 31, 2019 by Ayobami Abiodun, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Every human has a desire. Either consciously or unconsciously, our desire often inspires us to set a goal. Our goals relate to any aspect of our life, where we desire a change.

I remember when I was 5-year-old, I desire to own a bicycle so my goal was to get a bicycle at any cost. I was so determined and focused, but nothing worked as planned. I had to resolve to seek spiritual help by praying to God. I prayed desperately for a miracle so that I could get a bicycle, but that didn’t work either. So, anytime I see children playing with their bicycle, it always makes me feel sad and depressed.

In life, disappointment is a constant visitor. It will surely visit us at any point regardless if we are ready to entertain it or not. I will be sharing with you 3 steps that will help you to reach your goal, most especially when you are facing difficulty in attaining your goal.

You might have said to yourself, I want to be a millionaire at age 21. Now you are in your forties and you are nothing close to the first alphabet, let alone being a millionaire. Your goal might be to get married at age 26, but you are 37 now and you are still very much single, searching for love. Your goal could be that you want to build an orphanage home. You wrote and submitted proposals, but you didn’t get a positive response. The frustrating part was that you saw a meaningless project get sponsored. You decided to use your money by saving a certain amount every month, but it seems like the money saved is reducing every month instead of increasing, and now you are feeling hopeless.

Your goal could even be something simple like having 10K followers on Twitter or Instagram. You tried everything, watched every video online, and even paid to learn social media marketing, but you couldn’t reach that goal yet.

So what can you do when you are unable to reach your goal? When disappointment suddenly hit you hard, how do you cope? Do you just give up on the goal completely? Let’s dive into the 3 steps that will help you to reach your goal. These are practical steps I discovered and learned through experience.

1. Reconsider your perspective.
2. Change your approach.
3. Capitalize on your disappointment.

1. RECONSIDER YOUR PERSPECTIVE:

At times, what you think is important to you might not be that important. It might be that you are just being sentimental or bias about it. If you are not reaching your goal, despite the determination and hard work you put into it, then it’s time to re-evaluate your goal. Look at the goal from another perspective.

When I was given admission in the university years ago for my undergraduate studies, I was disappointed. I studied hard and gave my best for the exams because I wanted to be a doctor. However, I was given admission to study another course. All my life as a child, I have always dreamt of being a doctor, it was my life goal. So, I told myself I was going to do a transfer in my second year to the faculty of medicine.

One day, I was walking alone on the campus sports ground, thinking about my life in general. This is something I do often and would encourage you to do as well. Always have alone time to reflect on your life. I decided to ask myself the real reason why I wanted to be a doctor. Yes, people do ask me why I wanted to be a doctor, and I always tell them that it’s because I wanted to save a life. But was that the genuine reason? I knew there are other ways to save a life because doctors are not the only ones who save lives.

At times, we think we have a reason for pursuing a goal, but it might not be a genuine reason. The goal might not be as important as we thought it was. And if you do not reconsider your perspective, you might not find out the true reasons (motive) behind your goal.

Then I discovered the real truth about my goal. When I was a child, I love the uniform of a doctor, and the respect people give to them. So, it was not really about genuine interest or passion, it was what comes with the profession that attracted me. Today, I am always grateful I found my path and discovered my true passion in life. I can’t even imagine myself working as a doctor. Though I value doctors, I don’t see myself as one any longer.

Life always contributes to redirecting our foot-step towards our destiny. Unfortunately, we are ignorant of this re-direction, and we start feeling depressed and hopeless because things aren’t going as planned. But take a moment to reconsider your perspective, and you will find the true answer.

Don’t waste your time on pursuing goals that aren’t genuinely for you. If at all you eventually achieve that goal, it won’t bring you happiness because it’s not genuinely meant for you. Take time to think about your goal.

Quick Exercise 1: Ask yourself the following question and be truthful about it.

What’s my genuine motive for the goal I want to achieve?
How important is this goal?
Can I do without this goal?
What will it cost me, if I don’t reach this goal?

2. CHANGE YOUR APPROACH:

After reconsidering your perspective towards the goal, and you discovered that you have a genuine reason for that goal, then it’s time to change your approach.

Some of us have been told lies that if you keep pursuing a goal and it didn’t work out, it simply means that the goal isn’t meant for us. And we often use that to justify our reason to quit the goal. We are like “maybe this isn’t meant for me”. The fact that something isn’t working now doesn’t mean that thing won’t work later. At times, goals are dependent on time and the approach. Some goals need the right time to manifest, and the right approach for it to become a reality.

There are different approaches to reach a goal. You can’t keep doing the same thing over and over again if you are getting the same result. Learn to change the method. If your goal is to eat egg, you can either have it boiled, fried, baked, poached, or scrambled. The end goal is that you will get to eat an egg.

I’m a Christian and I love this story in the bible about the paralyzed man that was brought to Jesus for healing. The goal was to make sure that the paralyzed man sees Jesus and get healed. The friends of the paralyzed man couldn’t use the door because it was filled up with crowds. Then they decided to change the approach because the door is not the only means of entering a house.

They could have used the window to enter but due to the crowd, they might only end up being stationed at the window side, without the opportunity to see Jesus. So, they decided to use the roof to enter. They took off the roof above Jesus and lowered the paralyzed man so that he’s placed right before Jesus and he was healed by Jesus.

The reason most of us don’t consider other alternatives to achieving our goal is that most alternatives are always tough, so we want to stick to our first approach which is easy, and direct. From the story, using the door is the first approach which is easy and direct while using the roof is way tough.

Imagine the hard work of removing the roof, then carrying a paralyzed man up the roof, and also lowering him down from the roof. Damn! The roof approach is way too tough, but it got the goal achieved. I’m sure you know the popular saying that the end justifies the means. Start to consider other alternatives to your goal. Yeah, the alternative might be tough, but you have to make up your mind.

Do you want to achieve your goal or not? If yes, then you should be ready to do whatever it takes to reach your goal. If you have to follow the tough approach, do it. That approach will pay off later and you will be satisfied.

If you are not reaching your goal, it is OK to take the exit door. Yes, it doesn’t mean you quit the goal, it means you have decided to follow another route to get to your goal. Remember the exit door of a location is an entrance to another location. All you need to do is to stay focused; fix your gaze on your goal even though your approach as changed.

Quick Exercise 2: Write down your goal (s) and think of the following:

What are the various approaches (alternatives) to achieving your goal?
What are the possible challenges to encounter with each approach?
What are the possible resources needed for each approach?
According to accessibility, what approach is easier and what approach is tougher?

3. CAPITALIZE ON YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT:

As I said earlier, disappointment doesn’t announce its arrival. It comes any time, most especially when you least expected it.

When you think you would be disappointed, disappointment could surprise you by disappointing you instead. Whereas when you are confident about something and think that it would work, that’s when disappointment could raise its ugly head.

I don’t know of any protection or strategy against disappointment, however, I know of a way to effectively handle disappointment, and make it work in your favour. How? When you encounter disappointment, think of the reason for the disappointment, and let that reason set your new approach to your goal.

Years ago, one of my clients was facing disappointment at work. Her project was always undervalued because she was a woman. She was the only female in the team of 14 staffs. Her Boss always ignores her ideas or suggestion because of the stereotype that a woman lacks expertise, and technical know-how to strive in that industry.

Her Boss told her that the only reason she was employed was because of diversity and her attractiveness. Though her goal was to climb the career ladder, her reality was saying otherwise. She was feeling frustrated at work as no one takes her ideas or contribution serious.

She came to me, and I told her to capitalize on her disappointment. I asked her to think about the reason why she was disappointed. She said the reason was just because of her gender. They won’t even give her the opportunity to showcase her talent, let alone recognize her contribution to work.

I encouraged her to develop the ideas she has discarded because her boss wouldn’t acknowledge her ideas. She started developing those ideas, working on it as her personal project. She established her company in that industry and registered it while she was still working with her Boss.

After 8 months, she tendered a resignation letter and decided to commit full time to her business. She employed a lot of female staffs and trained them. Her company became known as the first-ever female-led company in that industry.

The same ideas that were rejected at her former working place, the same ideas she was willing to give out to her boss for free, became the spotlight for her success. And because of her gender, she also became an inspiration for all, as she breaks out of the rooted stereotypes. In less than 2 years, her company was rated higher than her previous place of work.

Learn to always capitalize on your disappointment. If you encounter disappointment when working on your goal, use the reason for your disappointment as an approach to achieve that goal. For example, if you apply for an opportunity and you were faced with disappointment because the organizers think that you are not good enough. Then don’t give up, start working to surprise the organizers. Prove to them that you are good enough by revenging with your success.

Even if you don’t know of any reason for your disappointment, still capitalize on your disappointment. Let the disappointment fuel determination in you. Think of any successful person in any aspect of life, they will tell you that disappointment was a blessing for them in disguise.

When you capitalize on your disappointment, it will build your persistence and determination to achieve your goal.

Quick exercise 3: Have alone time to reflect on your life, and think of the disappointments you’ve encountered.

What areas have you faced disappointment?
What was the reason or cause of disappointment?
In what ways can you use the reason for your disappointment as a new approach to achieving your goal?

It is easy to practice these simple 3 steps that will help you to reach your goal. You just have to be true to yourself and be ready to give your all to reach your goal. If the goal worth it, then everything it requires worth it.