Church Hurt (Podcast Recap)
Posted on December 20, 2019 by Taniya Clayton, One of Thousands of Christian Coaches on Noomii.
When I initially got saved I didn’t realize I walked into church with so much pain that I needed to be healed from.
So, I did something out of my comfort zone last night… I recorded my first podcast episode “Church Hurt” and it felt great! For years I’ve silenced my voice out of fear of what others might think. There were moments I had so much to say, but it never seemed to be the right time. I realized it wasn’t the right time because there was so much hurt that I was dealing with and there was more healing that needed to take place.
The night before I actually started the podcast I sensed it was time to share my testimony with others, but I wasn’t sure how I would deliver it. I thought about going live at first, then remembered sometimes I get easily distracted. After thinking about it, recording the video, stopping the video, then re-recording, I decided to start a podcast was the route to go. So, that’s what I did! I’ve decided to summarize the episode here.
For the past few years, I’ve noticed within myself and others, that have had negative experiences in church, slowly fall away from God. It made me take notice, examine, and ask questions as to what went wrong. For some people, church hurt can be devastating, crippling, bring anger (towards God, self, and others), as well as extreme disappointment.
When I initially got saved I didn’t realize I walked into church with so much pain that I needed to be healed from. Of course, I knew I was a sinner saved by grace, but I didn’t know how deep the wounds of my past went.
When I started serving in church I believed I was in a place to make the right decisions for myself. Never understanding or being taught how to completely rely on God, I ended up connecting with someone that I believed would look out for me (for full story listen to the podcast).
The relationship ended up being toxic and controlling, which left me confused and devastated. I became angry with God because I felt like he let me down and didn’t protect me. I became angry with myself because I felt as if I should have spoken up for myself. All that anger turned in to bitterness and broken fellowship with God.
The very things like prayer, fasting, studying the Word was no longer a priority. I was involved in church, but not in the areas where I was supposed to be because I had no clear direction. I decided my calling wasn’t going to work for me anymore, so I walked away.
I was walking in full rebellion
After being on the run, I became so unhappy and lost that I had no choice but to surrender and go to God for help. Truth is, although the people that hurt me were in the wrong for treating me the way they did. I had to take responsibility for my part. When I say, “my part” I mean for choosing to blatantly disobey God. This is not the case for everyone, some people are wronged and they were in the will of God. My story was different, I thought I knew better than God.
The good news is, once I took responsibility I put trust back in God (this was a process) and he began to rebuild me.
The process was tough at times but it was needed to get me back to the place where I once was. Giving Him the broken areas was scary, but I had to remember his word and that he is not like man. That means he wouldn’t hurt me or abuse my trust.
That’s what I shared last night and what I wanted to share with you today. I want to remind you not to let bad encounters with people deny you a relationship with God. The reasons for your hurt may be different from mine, but either way, allow your self to go through the healing process.
These tips helped me process what happened:
-Give yourself time to heal.
-Trust God with the pain
-Allow the Holy Spirit to bring inner healing
-Forgive
-Know that all church people are not the same
-Be free
Lastly, it is possible to be busy doing the wrong thing out of fear of what could happen if you do the right thing. We all have different ways of how we cope with pain which can be healthy or unhealthy. Don’t be so afraid to get the help (therapy, deliverance, etc.) you need that you spend all your life doing the wrong thing and never doing what you were actually created to do. Don’t give anyone that power over you. Your healing process is important so make sure you do what’s best for you.
Check out The Rebuild Zone on Castbox for EP. 1 Church Hurt to get the full story.
