Shame on you!
Posted on October 10, 2019 by Renu Goyal, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
This article is about how healing starts when something is voiced. If remains hidden and behind close vaults of heart, it's shame.
In a particular residential training program that I attended around 2 years back, there was a session on violence and how people might have either afflicted or suffered violence in their personal lives. The session was totally optional and I just went along with a friend. Listening to those stories, I felt a lot of anger at the things which I heard about. Besides evaluating what was I angry about, I have always wondered the need to have such a session into the program.
Now that I have read more books written by Brene Brown- my current favourite author, I understand that giving voice to such stories of shame leads to healing. In her words- “Shame derives its power from being unspeakable. If we cultivate enough awareness about shame to name it and speak to it, we have basically cut it off at the knees. Shame hates having words wrapped about it. If we speak shame, it begins to wither. "
Having talked about it, I don’t feel angry any longer. I was angry about the injustice in the world and also with the organisers of having kept such a session where there was so much pain. I also realise that since that pain was not mine, I very comfortably wanted to shut my eyes to that pain and not let it enter me.
This experience has left me more receptive to other people’s pain, especially related to their shame. Now I feel I am in a place where I can hear to their stories with empathy and no judgements about the situation.
If you have a story to share, please feel free to reach out..
