The Spiritual Horse

Posted on May 20, 2011 by Tina Layne, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

The Spiritual Horse

Ryan first met Patty a little over a year ago on an unusually warm spring day. It was still early spring barely past winter, but it was sunny and 60 degrees. For northeast Ohio’s snow belt, late March is cold, white, and gray, but not this day; an unusual day completely appropriate for the introduction of Patty.

Ryan, a 12 year old, dyslexic boy, needed something new in his daily routine. His dyslexia effects more than his reading – he is also challenged to write legibly, to remember math processes and times tables, and he has a rough time connecting left, right, and upper and lower body movements. The disconnect between these four quadrants of his body are reminiscent of the 4 Corners States; they are all part of the Union yet the borders make these states individual and they work apart from one another with little more than their touching borders in common.

Ryan had been working on his confidence and self-esteem as well as incorporating his disjointed body into one working union since he was 6 years old. He’d only had a small amount of success even with the help of occupational therapists and child psychologists. It was time to up the ante, so to speak, and find something new that would finally work. The summer before, he’d taken riding at Boy Scout Camp and had such a great experience he continued to talk about the horses late into wintertime. It was decided this might be the new perspective he needed.

There is a saying, “The Universe provides”. I began looking for a riding stable where he could continue spending time with horses, but for his needs, the stable would need to be quiet, slow-paced and laid back, with private horses that were used for individual lessons and would only walk on, whoa, and turn with the correct cues. In essence a schooling horse that carried him along wasn’t going to help him integrate his body quadrants nor was a fast paced hectic schooling stable going to help his confidence. I continued looking through the fall and into winter when a friend in our local schooling co-op mentioned her daughter’s instructor during a completely non-horse topic. Thus, I found the perfect barn, the perfect instructor, and the perfect Patty.

Upon Ryan’s first trip to the barn, the instructor gave a tour and introduced the twelve horses. Ryan was immediately drawn to a 25 year old Haflinger. Patty became his weekly ride for the next 6 months until he had outgrown her riding abilities, but she continued to teach him about himself through ground work and experiential activities that his instructor offered him to try.

When he was in a sour mood Patty patiently waited for him to calm and tell her his secrets. When he was anxious, she stood quietly by him until the anxiety passed. When she was in the field and he needed to share with her, he would go to her and she would happily allow him to cut her from the herd without the need of lead ropes or haltering. Now, a year into his lessons, he spends five days a week at the barn, most of the time caring for Patty. He continues to progress to different ponies and horses for riding, but Patty is always his first stop and she always gets the biggest carrot. When he has a frustrating lesson or is plagued by a case of low confidence, Patty is waiting for him and she mirrors back to him what he needs to see in his own behavior and attitude so that he can make positive changes.

He still continues to have many problems with the disconnect in his body and brain, and Patty is always there sensing the moment he arrives what he needs from her. Sometimes she is challenging and doesn’t listen to him. At those times he has to think about his own actions towards his friends, sisters, and parents. What attitude and negative energy did he exude that turned her off? Sometimes she slowly moves as if unsure what she is doing or what he is asking. He has to ask himself if he’s indecisive or unfocused and then bring his thoughts back and become grounded and confident in his abilities. Sometimes she is nurturing, happy to lay her head gently against his chest or his arm or to stand next to him without moving as he tells her things he is embarrassed to tell his human mom. Occasionally he rides her bareback to work out his balance. He rides forward, sideways, backwards, and laid over her. She takes it all in stride, happily licking and chewing, telling us in her way that she is pleased to be with him and to be helping him.

While Ryan has made this wonderful connection, Patty is capable of having more than one special relationship and holding space for all who need her. She has the uncanny ability to pick out those who need nurturing. Ryan wasn’t the first to connect with her, and he hasn’t been the last.

Through a distinct set of paths that we all followed, Patty was brought into Ryan’s and my life for the betterment of him and me. Patty began her life as an Amish horse used for plowing, driving, and being a Mom. As she grew older, she came to live in her current and forever home. She continues to drive and to teach basic balance and riding skills, but last August Patty began her new career as an equine guide.

Thanks to his bond with her, I began to connect with her owner and Ryan’s instructor, Sue. When Sue took the leap into the field of equine experiential learning she invited me into a new way of thinking and living. Sue started the non-profit organization The Chrysalis Adventure, and as a facilitator and equine advocate, I am continually inspired, surprised, and quite often brought to tears as I watch Patty and the other horses work their magic.
Caleb came to us as a member of an at-risk school program using The Chrysalis Adventure. His family is split and he has a poor relationship with his step-mother and very little relationship with his real mother. When the year started, Caleb lacked confidence and was embarrassed to admit to being afraid of the horses. He was anti-social, belligerent, and he refused to enter the arena with any of the horses. As each week progressed and over the span of 4 or 5 months, he lost his fear of the horses and began joining his group in the arena but continued to shut out most contact with the program staff, his classmates in the program, and the horses.

Patty refused to be shut out. Using her gentle energy, Patty passively asserted herself into Caleb’s space, standing in front of him and watching. If he moved she repositioned her body to stay in front of him. He had no choice but to acknowledge her. One morning he tentatively stroked her mane and patted her shoulder. She sighed deeply and moved closer to him and he continued to stroke her. Caleb, who never wanted to be involved and only grudgingly spoke, asked if he could take Patty out of the arena to groom. While he was doing this, he opened up for the first time and told his story to her. We watched from a safe distance so that he was given his privacy as his words weren’t for us.

Each week after this, Patty looked for him when the program kids entered the barn. When she saw him she’d kick her stall door until he acknowledged her. She was always his pick for activities, and he began speaking to the staff and his classmates and visibly enjoying his time at the barn. He became comfortable using other horses as well as Patty although he continued refusing to mount her for sensory and balance work.

About 8 months into the program, with a lot of fear, he did mount her for a few minutes. Patty held perfectly still for him as he adjusted his balance and learned to match his fearful breathing to her slow, relaxed breaths. About a month later he hopped on her back without a second thought to show a new student how to mount a horse. Only after he was on her did it register with him what he had done and the difference in what he felt this time was very apparent to him. With a wide grin he said he felt good doing that and he was unsure why he’d been afraid but he wasn’t anymore.
Ten months from the beginning of the program, Caleb happily brought Patty from her stall for grooming. As he clipped her to the ties, he called her Momma-Patty and a few minutes later shared with the staff that talking to her was like talking to his real mom.

Caleb used to come into the barn in a sour mood quite regularly, but since his breakthrough which Patty facilitated, Caleb has been willing to share his troubles with her and with his human counterparts so that he is no longer internalizing and he enters the barn in better spirits. In the beginning he watched the clock for the time to go home and now asks that they be allowed to stay a little while longer.

Through her ability to sense the needs of others, Patty has connected with these two boys and many others on a level that is above explanation. The spiritual nature of Patty and horses in general transcends the ability to define or explain the connection. But to put human thought and word to the phenomenon, horses bring people out of their shell and guide them while they build confidence in themselves, learn respect and compassion, and begin to understand the positive forms of communication and relationship building.