Emotional Intelligence & Ontological Coaching
Posted on August 29, 2019 by Matt McLaughlin, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
What's the best way to develop emotional intelligence?
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is defined as “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.” For business leaders, this is obviously a very valuable trait. So, what’s the best way to develop emotional intelligence?
How to develop emotional intelligence
While it is possible to increase emotional intelligence through self-study the greatest gains come from working with a trusted, trained and objective individual. Coaching is the perfect opportunity for this, and within coaching methodologies, ontological coaching is an ideal approach.
Ontological coaching looks at an individual’s way of being; their emotions, beliefs, language, and even body, and how those aspects result in the actions a person takes, and in the results they obtain. By its very nature, ontological coaching is a self-reflective process, where the coachee discovers a more productive way of being.
Emotional intelligence is also developed through self-reflection. One of the primary means is by looking at your own emotions. Why did a certain email give you a surge of anger? Why do you feel slighted when the boss credits someone else? These are all excellent topics to explore with an ontological coach, who is trained to help you explore emotions.
Another method of increasing emotional intelligence is asking another person for their perspective. Again, an ontological coach will excel at this. Looking at things from a different perspective is what it’s all about! By examining assumptions, a good coach will open up different perspectives and offer other ways of interpreting a situation.
Learning to observe your current emotional state is another cornerstone of emotional intelligence. Emotions very often show up first, or more strongly, in the body. Anger begins with a rush of adrenaline, which interrupts your rational mind and puts your “fight or flight” brain in charge. Ontological coaches are uniquely trained in somatics. They help identify the first signs of strong emotions and offer practices that insert a pause between the event and your reaction, allowing you to choose how you respond.
Finally, by examining why you feel a certain way in a given situation, you will gain a greater understanding of what others may be feeling and why. This is where the rubber meets the road, and you learn to bring true compassion and empathy to bear. This will result in better relationships, increased trust, tighter-knit teams, and better results. And that is precisely the model used in ontological coaching.
If you’re looking to increase emotional; intelligence, an ontological coach will be a tremendous resource. In fact, you really can’t partake in ontological coaching and NOT gain emotional intelligence!
