Baby Birds
Posted on May 01, 2011 by Lori Bergvall, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.
The cycle of life can be viewed in nature as well as in our own homes.
A few years ago, right around this time of year, I discovered a nest in one of the many butterfly bushes I have in my backyard. I had done a much-needed trimming on the bush to allow greater blooms that summer. What I hadn’t anticipated was accidentally removing the canopy to a nest, leaving it vulnerable.
I felt awful as I looked and saw four tiny eggs in this small, pristine nest. I was aghast at what I had inadvertently done!
This once well-hidden and protected home was now exposed to the elements and intruders. There were plenty of hawks in our neighborhood that would be happy to seize this opportunity.
I held my breath, hoping the mother would come back after what I’d done. I knew that as she sat on her nest, she would be an easy target to the hawks and other predators.
I kept a constant vigil, sneaking looks out my window at the exposed nest. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I saw she had returned and was sitting on her nest! I thanked her for being there. I prayed that she would forgive me.
Over the next several weeks, we worked things out, the mother bird and I. Whenever I needed to mow the lawn or pull weeds near the butterfly bush that housed her nest, I did so very carefully and quietly. As I drew near, she would fly away and leave the nest. As soon as I left, she returned. I made sure I was near her home for only very brief periods of time.
It wasn’t over yet though, as I still held my breath for her little babies. By my estimation, the mother would have at least another two weeks of sitting on her exposed nest before it was time for her eggs to hatch. Thankfully, she was diligently sitting on her nest, every time I checked — day or night.
Eventually all four eggs hatched, the baby birds ate, grew to be healthy, and flew away! I kept my distance and took as few pictures as possible, but it was like watching my own babies survive and thrive. What seemed like an impossible situation turned out for the best.
This can happen in human families too. What looks like a very scary situation, with a dim future, can turn out perfectly. We don’t always have the control over our environments or circumstances, yet we persist with what we must do and hope for the best.
Along the way, we may learn new skills and techniques for survival. We may also learn to trust someone that we may have previously considered an enemy. That’s what happened with the mother bird and myself. I was moved by her trust in me and trust that everything would turn out. She didn’t for a moment shy away from her duties to her nest, even though it put her in a dangerous position.
I took note of her example, and still do today, learning to trust and to stay the course, even though it can sometimes be scary, the end results unknown.
When we’re raising children, especially teenagers, our path may seem strange and unclear. Perhaps it feels very dangerous too. We worry about the unknown and dangerous situations our teenagers may encounter. Who will be there to protect them? How do I allow them, teach them, to branch out and fly on their own? How will I know when they’re ready?
Situations and circumstances arise, giving us an opportunity to trust and have faith without really knowing the outcome in advance. Like the bird, we rely on instinct and forge ahead. Like me, we give parents the space to do what they need to do in order for their family to thrive.
When working with families, issues of instinct and trust frequently arise. One of the first things I hear is that parents know they need to follow their gut instincts, but are worried about what their parents or friends would say. Give yourself the privacy and trust in yourself to follow your instincts as a parent. (You may surprise yourself!) Give yourself the gift of help to believe in your natural abilities to parent.
