After Divorce
Posted on June 12, 2019 by Giovana Hudson, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
What if I tell you that there is a side of divorce that if you allow yourself to experience you will discover a whole new world of opportunities.
Divorced NOW what?
All your plans at that moment collapse. Are you grieving?Grieving what? I couldn’t wait to get rid of that mess, you may say. That is correct, however during the months prior to your divorce all your attention and energy has been focused on that final signature on the divorce decree. You lost the spouse that at one point you hope to grow old with. You may have lost some time with your kids. You lost your extended family.You’ve lost financial security, and perhaps you may have lost money or even have to move from your home. Even most of your friends were lost in the process.
Divorce can be merciless.
It can take almost everything that it’s important to you. The legal process alone can be costly and emotionally torturous. Suddenly the person you loved so much can be seeing as if taking all that it’s important to you, for some women even their last names.The fights over assets, custody and so on generates numerous insecurities and anxieties resulting sometimes in distress long after the divorce decree it’s signed.
You are either lonely, or surrounded by people telling us what to do or telling you how awful the partner you chose for many years are. What if I tell you that great things can come from divorce ?What if I tell you can reclaim yourself back?
Having worked with divorcing people for two decades and witness several divorces among friends, I can tell you that there is a side of divorce that if you allow yourself to experience you will discover a whole new world of opportunities. You just need to be willing and open to experience.
Most people either hang on to what they imagined life could be, and spend their time resenting their ex for letting them down, failing at taking responsibility for their own happiness. Or they go on a desperate search for that next partner that will be now responsible to fulfill what the first one failed to do. In both cases you have not taking time to understand what do you want now and what you can have it.
So how can I discover life after divorce?
1) Decide on what you want and what is important to you?
It’s the opportunity to rediscover and explore things that you were interested but put on hold because you felt was the right thing to do during your relationship.It may be your career, maybe your health, or discover a mission or passion that you have not explored before. Often couples give up their own identity to maintain their relationship, and it’s not unusual a level of resentment following such decisions. Embrace your responsibility for happiness, so you don’t fall trapped in a similar relationship pattern that may lead to the same outcome. We are responsible for our own happiness.
2) Make new friends:
Think about classes you always wanted to take but forgo the idea because your partner wasn’t interested.Sign up for it now! There is an abundance of free and paid classes to take where you can meet people with similar interests. Join hiking, dancing , walking clubs, meet up site is a great place for that. But I am shy!So would be a lot of folks you will meet in such places.
That vacation spot you always wanted to explore, but your partner wasn’t into it?Go now!Even that career that you left behind, so much that you can now do. Trying new things is liberating, and no you are never too old for that. You will be amazed as you discover what you can do.
Coaching can have a tremendous benefit showing you how to take steps to reclaiming who you want to be.
