AUTHENTIC POSITIVITY

Posted on May 15, 2019 by Anna Horst, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

Everyone’s heard the expression just be positive. But it’s not always just about being positive, it’s really about being authentic. We can speak all about love and light, but the feelings we are experiencing, whether on the surface or deep inside, are the real indicators of our energetic frequency.

We create our reality by our vibrational frequency, our energy, our e-motion (energy in motion). Our intentions to be happy and feel good has infinite value. But one must resolve the deepest inner fear and energetic resistance, which is expressed as negative emotions, to really embody authentic positivity and be in a state of constant allowance, love and compassion. Otherwise we are running towards the light to escape our darkness and we’ll unconsciously react every time we are triggered, judge all that we have denied within and at least partially, create our lives in a way that reflect our innermost fears.

How to resolve fear:

Our fears are emotions which stem from our subconscious limiting beliefs and thoughts such as I am not safe. I am not secure. I am unworthy. I am alone. Everyone’s against me. I cannot trust. I am insufficient or any other thought of seeming lack in who we are in relation to the world around us, the universe or our life. These subconscious beliefs and thoughts come out as unconscious reactions when our insecurities and deepest fears are triggered.

Let’s say we feel like there’s not enough time and lash out when our child throws a fit and makes us late. We may get angry because we feel strained and this seeming lack of time makes us feel insecure. So we get angry as a defense mechanism to make us feel we are in control, and in essence, to make us feel more secure. Anger is always a defense mechanism we utilize to try and ‘take back our power’ in order to make our self feel more safe and secure. Not feeling safe and secure is the root fear/belief/thought that needs to be resolved.

Since so many of us have early childhood trauma that has yet to be resolved, we carry these inner fears with us, reacting when triggered, but not fully addressing the root core fears. Whenever we are triggered, it’s because these deep inner fears are being tested within our current scenario. We must allow ourselves to really feel our emotions everytime we are triggered, without having any judgment, in order to follow them to our root core insecurities deep within. When we allow the emotions to reside within our Presence (without judgment or ridicule or trying to force them to be different), we can ask our self ‘when did I first feel this emotion’. Our subconscious will automatically go back to the source of the initial time this fear originated. We may remember an experience from childhood that we felt unsafe or not secure, maybe where our innocence wasn’t acceptable, our vulnerabilities were used against us, where our power was seemingly taken away or where we just didn’t feel ok just as we were.

We must NOT judge that innocent and vulnerable part of our self, but instead remain compassionate. We must NOT coax that aspect to change or try to convince it to be stronger, but instead acknowledge the pain we felt as being painful and accepting that we felt betrayed, hurt, etc. That aspect doesn’t want to be denied and will not resolve if it feels rejected once again by us, but will only be soothed by the compassionate acknowledgment and embrace of our Presence. Embracing that wounded innocence/inner child into the warmth of our bosom/heart center will allow it to feel safe and will integrate it. We must honor that wounded innocence by acknowledging its cries and allowing it to exist as an aspect of our experience, integrated within the wholeness we are as divine Presence experiencing physical life.

What may seem childish or what we judge as being weak is our most vulnerable self as a dependent child again feeling rejected by us through our judgments. In essence, we are again saying that aspect isn’t good enough just as it is when we determine that we should just suck it up and be more courageous or stronger. By forcing ourselves to not feel the pain, we are denying that aspect within. By forcing ourselves to feel positive when we don’t naturally already do, we are surpressing our innermost pains. By seeking comfort through external means such as alcohol, marijuana, relationships, sex, validation, attention, compulsions of all kinds, etc. we are numbing our pain and letting it continue unacknowledged. By invalidating the feelings, we are continuing the pain.

Sometimes the experiences that traumatize us seem ridiculous and small or just plain silly. That’s because we are seeing it strictly from our perspective as an able adult. But from the vulnerable child’s view, we did feel unsafe or unworthy or whatever. So we must see and feel it from that view again, by allowing ourselves to feel the emotions fully and having the fears wash over us by not resisting them at all; being in a state of absolute allowance. Let it ‘overcome’ you, so you remember how your most vulnerable aspect felt; alone, deprived, unable to express, powerless, unsafe, needy, etc. Then when you acknowledge that experience without judgment you honor your inner child.

Knowing in pure Presence we are inherently safe, and now as an able adult, using our voice and our choice, we never have to let that inner child feel powerless or be abused again. We can voice boundaries to ensure our preferences, and we can choose to participate in that which helps us thrive. We no longer are subject to the traumas that created these fears and we can let our inner child know it’s safe to express itself and safe to thrive now within our presence. Acknowledge and embrace that vulnerable aspect with the purity of our presence to honor our whole self and resolve the fear.

Then the next time we are triggered, we will soon realize it’s our insecurity crying out, and we can soothe that aspect with our compassionate presence and awareness. We will do this quicker and quicker each time we are triggered until we are no longer triggered at all, because that aspect has been integrated into the confident yet humble, trusting, loving and capable presence we most authentically exist as.

We must honor our inner child (and integrate it) every time we feel doubt, fear, insecurity, lack of safety, take offense or feel defensive, are triggered and everytime we judge our self or another in order to resolve all our fears. We will become fearless by living in the moment fully and embracing all that is with the compassion of our heart (absolute allowance and absolute self compassion allwayz). We needn’t get stuck in the past or focus on what was in order for these emotions to surface. Our Now moment will always bring us unresolved emotions in the form of resistance, fear, doubt, judgment, defensiveness or feeling any sense of lack at all. When we feel all our emotions, embrace all with compassion and focus on what makes our heart sing, we will be fearless, naturally authentically positive and therefore effectively start to create the life of our greatest dreams!

You are beautiful beyond measure and radiantly brilliant more than the light of a trillion suns.