Do you want to build a Happy Relationship with your Spouse

Posted on April 16, 2019 by Julius Xavier, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.

A happy couple relationship is not a far-fetched idea. It is real and possible. However it requires sincere and sustained effort. Love has to be a way of life. You are to be loving. Only then can you love your wife and your husband.

Some, ‘easy to do’ ways to build happy relationship between you and your spouse are;

Set realistic expectations:
Unnecessary expectations would put pressure on a couple’s relationship. Understanding and pressure don’t go hand in hand. Let go of many un-realistic expectations and live and let live. Each individual is different. Don’t judge but understand instead. Do not belittle your spouse in front of others. Keep your relationship simple. The unhappiness that comes through love is not because of love, but because of limitations and expectations that surround it.

Listen from the heart:
Healthy and respectful communication is the key to a happy relationship. Patient and empathetic listening is the most effective part of communication and it can help your relationship to grow. Sometimes partners are willing to talk to each other but are unwilling to listen. A couple cannot have an understanding relationship if they do not listen to each other. Only by listening from the heart and not from the head, will a couple be able to understand, accept, and respect each other’s beliefs, opinions and feelings.

Be willing to learn from each other:
Each partner is a treasure trove of knowledge, wisdom and has something of value to offer. Be willing to learn from each other and this would help you both to rub off on each other and understanding would be the outcome. Draw from this treasure and you will value, respect and understand each other more.

Work on building love:
The foundation for a thriving, exciting, mutually supportive relationship is love. Love creates the breeding ground for understanding to grow. When a couple love each other they can go on to build an understanding relationship. If love is missing, understanding would be absent too.

Fight fairly but heal each other quickly:
Learn to fight fairly. No name calling or making threats. Apologise when you know you should. If you’re too angry to really listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself, breathe and calm down.

Go for walks together:
It’s amazing what 30-45 minutes’ walk, either in the morning or evening, away from the regular monotony of daily routine can do your relationship. It can have a positive impact on your marriage besides provide invaluable health benefits to both. As you walk with your spouse, you breathe in fresh air, interact with nature, engage in conversation and connect with each other. A walk together, is of immense help to couples who find it difficult to make time for each other to communicate. Walk together as often and as much as possible.

Express appreciation and gratitude:
An attitude of gratitude keeps relationships fresh and vibrant. As you appreciate your spouse you will communicate, serve and love better. Besides it will strengthen your belief in your marriage. It will immensely help if spouses appreciate each other in words and by gestures. Actions speak louder than words. Few things signify a relationship is in trouble like diminishing appreciation. If your gratitude for your spouse is waning you need to appreciate more

Eye to eye contact:
In today’s fast paced and stress filled busy life ,couples spend much time handling responsibilities, problems, expectations at the cost of seeing each other. By taking time out and looking at your spouse, recognising their worries, joys, stresses, couples can better understand each other and their relationship will become stronger. In a moderately good marriage just a little more awareness of everything your spouse is feeling will greatly increase your connection with each other.

Smile & laugh frequently :
A shared smile symbolizes a true connection. It welcomes your spouse into your life. As we age most people gradually smile less. We forget that a smile can make a positive impact on our couple relationship. Nearly every relationship begins with a smile. If a smile was effective in starting your relationship, it’s reasonable to believe it will be useful in sustaining your couple relationship. Ability to laugh at self and the other is important lest we stand the risk of taking each other very seriously. When one of the couple is serious most of the time, then ego sets in and destroys a beautiful relationship.