Are you a Role Model as “Couples in Love” to your Loving Children

Posted on April 15, 2019 by Julius Xavier, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.

As parents, we have always been advised to be good role models to our children as parents. As parents we are told to embody, demonstrate and instil in children values of humility, compassion, gratitude, discipline, truthfulness, hard work, etc. But today I encourage parents to be role models as ‘Lovers’, to their children.

Our children should see us, both, as one team, collaborating with and affirming each other.

Children irrespective of their age, should see us couples, doing things for each other that will strengthen their faith, belief and confidence in the sacred institution called Marriage.

A father talking to his children’s mother with love, care, kindness and understanding and vice-versa the mother talking to the father with respect and courtesy will encourage children to do likewise in their married life. Children should see us parents say, “Please forgive me”, “I am sorry”, to each other after an argument or bitter banter. Parents should express their disagreements and hurt in a manner that is within respectful limits. Children must see us parents forgiving each other and making up with a hug and kiss. One spouse being welcomed home by the other spouse, with a smile, hug or kiss should be visible to children at home. Children should see us parents as one in good and bad times.
Parents as couples should make their love visible to their children by holding hands often in public, in the car or at home, having tea or meals together, intensely talking to each other looking into each other’s eyes, listening to each other attentively, sharing their feelings, texting or communicating with each other on phone when apart, jointly discussing and taking decision on important matters like family budget, big ticket expenses, vacation etc. Children must see their parents thanking each other even for small gestures, be together while worshipping in a place of worship , sitting close to each other at social gatherings, doing activities together as a couple like going for a walk or visiting friends.
A father must show his love for his children’s mother by helping her in the kitchen and doing other house-hold chores. This will demonstrate to young boys that it is perfectly normal to help with house-hold chores and it is not demeaning to his self respect.
Children must see their parents as generous in appreciation and thrifty or slow in criticising.

These and many other positive actions will encourage young adults, men and women, to look forward to the amazing grace and journey called Marriage.