The Do's and Don'ts of Moving on
Posted on April 03, 2019 by Michelle Mckenna, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
A guide to moving on and moving forward without getting tripped up.
Don’t try or let your ex be friends with you. The closer you are with your ex, the more likely you will not be able to move forward. Plus no one wants to date anyone who is too close with their ex, it’s what people in the dating world call a “red flag”.
Do take time for yourself. Moving on isn’t marked by dating someone new or having sex with someone. Moving on means being able to go through your days without thinking of your ex, and thinking about you.
Don’t post tons of relationship quotes on your social media. It doesn’t give the impression you are legitimately moving on. Reading through and following a few relationship quote pages can help you process and start some proactive thinking to moving on but it should a private affair. Feel free to check out @TalkToCoachMichelle on Insta to find relationship quotes and moving-on-inspiration daily.
Do get busy. Your mind can’t heal overnight but it can be distracted. Sports, reading, or new hobbies are all good ways to distract yourself and build up your self esteem. After time you will see you will have built a life and friend groups, and you won’t want your ex anymore.
Don’t wallow too long. This one is from Gilmore Girls funnily enough. You can spend a day or even a weekend being a bit mopey, treat yourself to your favorite movies, cry a little/a lot, spend time with people you can trust, whatever you need. After giving yourself a chance to wallow, its time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get up off the couch.
Do find a productive outlet. Whether it be art or journaling, those feelings need to go somewhere. Bottling everything up will make you irritable and frustrated. You will get angry about things you shouldn’t and your emotions will burst out at the wrong people. Some people have trouble loosening the cap because those emotions are painful but without experiencing the pain and finding something productive to do with it, it will only last longer.
Don’t talk about your breakup constantly with your friends. Your friends are kind, well intentioned, and caring people (hopefully) but talking their ear off about your heart break is a major downer. This can cause trouble with the balance of your friendship. Spending time with your friends should be fun and uplifting and will help you move forward, but not if it’s a constant therapy session. If they ask, you can share with them but you shouldn’t be laying it on them constantly.
Do get help. If you are in a safe head space but feel you are stuck after a break up and are not moving forward fast enough, get help from a relationship coach. You don’t have to be alone in this.
