Replace the title “Husband & Wife” with “Best Friends”

Posted on April 02, 2019 by Julius Xavier, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.

Couple relationship is enriching, uplifting and fulfilling but requires hard work to maintain, nurture and grow. You have to let your spouse know that you feel complete, love, respect, passion, attraction, secure, and other feelings that are unique to your spouse and relationship.

The ability to understand each other is one of the key attributes a couple needs to keep strengthening and work upon daily. Your marriage will thrive, be joyful, last longer and be successful if you two are not just husband and wife but also best of friends. Marriage is a continuous striving of two individuals trying to be best friends.

Understanding comes from friendship thus you need to be friends with your spouse. It will help to stay connected with each other emotionally and keep the love alive and vibrant in your relationship

Here are some ways in which you can be best friends with your spouse.

Do not judge: As friends it is very important that you keep an open mind and do not judge each other. You should be able to share freely and confide in each other. Do not let your preconceived notions or past impressions cloud your view and feelings for each other. Whenever you think your partner has faltered be empathetic, walk in your life partner’s shoes and walk a mile. This would immensely strengthen the bond and keep you together.

Trust each other completely: It is not easy to open up to someone emotionally. So when and if your spouse shares some confessions, you must respect his/her feelings and not broadcast it to the world. Your spouse must be able to trust you completely in order to see you as a friend. For your spouse to open up to you, he/she must be sure that his/her secrets would be safe with you.

Give space to each other: Be aware, conscious and you have to be able to understand when your spouse needs you and when he/she needs some space. While you are trying to be your life partner’s best friend, give each other mental and physical space which is crucial to a successful relationship. Your spouse will appreciate your presence more if you give him/her the chance to miss you once in a while.

As friends few things that you should daily say to each other are;

I enjoy your presence and want to be with you: Let your partner know that you love spending time with him/her. The time you spend together is a vital investment in the success and happiness of your relationship.

I love you: It’s something you express with or without words. To say ‘I love you’ is undoubtedly one of the most important words you say to your spouse, each day, loud and clear ,without fumbling or in whispers.

I am still in love with you: If you want to make your partner feel especially loved, go beyond just saying the words’ I love you.’ Go one step further and tell your spouse that you are still in love with him or her. Try and share why you are still in love with your spouse. This will show your spouse that you are not just saying ‘I Love you’ but that you are intentional about why your spouse matters so much to you. Saying ‘I love you’ is important but can become a meaningless expression over time. Become creative and give your spouse one reason you love him or her. This has dual benefit, one it reminds us why we love our spouse so much and second it lets your spouse know why you appreciate him or her.

How are you or how are you doing?: An argument or a fight happens with every couple. Relationship is all about disagreements, conflict of feelings or thoughts, and going back to that person to sort out the fight. This usually happens because we have not taken the time to attentively listen to each other from the heart and to find out what’s going on under the surface. But when we stop and pay attention, act with compassion and ask, ‘What is going on with you? How are you?’, it immediately opens up a channel of communication between disheartened couples and restores communication. Instead of languishing in sadness after a fight our relationship begins to heal and deepen.