2 Step Process to a Happier Life

Posted on February 27, 2019 by Erin Banda, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

This is about cleaning out . . . the refrigerator, closet, car, or desk. You decide the analogy that is most meaningful for you, but the process is the same.

The power of our thoughts and the effect they have on us – mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally – is well documented. We know why and how our thoughts influence us which, in turn, creates the reality we experience. I believe that we get to decide what we experience.

I love the ‘cleaning out the refrigerator’ analogy because it so clearly demonstrates this process. When you begin to clean the frig, think of each food item as a thought. As you open a container of sour cream, and see a layer of mold growing, do you think, “hmm, maybe I can figure out how to use this at some point?“ No. You toss it immediately!

Thoughts can and should be handled the same way. As a thought arises, really look at it and consider whether it has value. You don’t take that moldy sour cream in the frig as an extension of who you are, right? You don’t think, “well, since its already here, I guess I have to keep it.” Thoughts are the same. Our thoughts are not who we are. They don’t have to be taken personally, or even believed. Consider each thought carefully and then decide whether it is worth keeping around.

Do you really need to hold onto the thought that:

· In order to get anywhere in life, I have to work long hours; or

· I’ve never lived up to my potential and probably never will; or

· I’m an introvert and therefore will never fit in; or

· This job, relationship or ______ (fill in the blank) is not fulfilling, but it’s probably the best I can do; or

· People won’t like/accept me if I say how I really feel; or

· I can’t do what I want because it’ll let others down.

These are a few examples of thoughts that we hold onto like moldy food in the refrigerator that can ultimately contaminate the life we experience.

Our thoughts arise spontaneously by the power of our brain. It’s simply what the brain does and will continue to do as long as we are alive.

Even when we are sleeping, our brain is creating thoughts through our dreams. We don’t wake up in the morning believing every crazy dream we had, right? Similar to dreams at night, we cannot control the thoughts our brain comes up with during the day; but we can control whether or not to believe them. I believe that the foundation of a peaceful and happy life is formed when we truly incorporate the practice of watching our thoughts and deciding which ones we are going to give power and meaning to.

So, here is my “2 Step Process to a Happier Life”:

1. As a thought arises, be aware of it, and distinguish it as something separate from you. This is key. Practice this vigilantly! “I am not my thoughts and I get to decide whether or not to believe them.”

2. Just like food in the frig, really inspect each thought and decide whether it has value, and you are going to use it. Those leftovers from dinner last week may still pass as edible, but truthfully, are you really going to eat them? No? Then out they go! There is no need to hold onto them only to wait for the mold to grow.

Minutes, days, years and lifetimes can be held hostage by thoughts when we believe them without considering whether they really serve us. We may not have control over what thoughts arise, but we are entirely in control of whether we keep them around. When we choose which thoughts to believe wisely, peace and happiness naturally follow!