What to Do When Everything Rides On Your Decision

Posted on January 27, 2019 by Joyce Collins, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Outcome

Why is it so the less that I know
the more certain I am of its content?
Fearful thinking fills the void
​because the unknown is infinite

What do you do when something you want to happen (or not happen) hangs in the balance of an outcome you know nothing about?

Do you feel the need to predict the outcome?

If you do, what is your default prediction?

Do you assume the outcome will be what you do (or don’t) want?

What is the thinking that behind your assumption?

These questions are the subject of today’s poem, “Outcome.”

I’ll share one of my experiences as an illustration.

I recently signed up with a coaching pairing service. What’s a coach pairing service, you ask? A coach pairing service brings together coaches and people looking for coaches.

There are two options to find a coach through this service. The first option is to browse an online directory and choose a coach based on their profile.

The second option is to provide the service information about goals you want a coach to help you achieve and specific coach requirements, such as gender or location. The service then recommends coaches in the directory who are a good fit for your goal and coach requirements.

Can you guess which option appeals to me as a coach?

Yes, the referral option. The coach pairing service recommends 1 to 3 coaches per request, so people interested in what I do are more likely to find me this way as opposed to browsing through a directory of hundreds of coaches.

Not all coaches who apply for the referral program are accepted. There’s an interview in which I need to convince the head of the referral program to accept me into the program.

Now we have my want, which hangs in the balance of an outcome – I will or won’t be accepted.

Here are thoughts running through my mind:

What should I say?

Of course I will talk about my training and life experience and my coaching philosophy, but what about my poetry?

Should I talk about how I use my poetry in coaching?
Will that be a plus or a minus?

I don’t know (but really I think I do).

Let’s look at the first two lines of the poem.

Why is it so the less that I know
the more certain I am of it’s content?

I felt the need to make a prediction. I was uncomfortable with the void of knowing nothing.

I had to set an expectation for myself, and I set it for rejection because that’s what I was afraid of.

Fearful thinking fills the void
because the unknown is infinite

I assumed that I would not be accepted if I talked about using my poetry in coaching. Why was I so certain?

I had evidence!

I thought of all the negative things people have said to me about poetry.

“Nobody likes poetry,”
“I don’t understand poetry,”
“I hated studying poetry in school.”
“I don’t like poetry.” (Even people who like my poetry tell me this!)

I was afraid the interviewer would have the same view of poetry and decide that I would not be a good match for anyone.

But that’s not all. I was also afraid that even if I were accepted into the program and received a referral, the potential client would be turned off when they heard about the poetry.

Wow! Double Jeopardy! So much was riding on my decision!

What did I do? I talked about it with a coach before I made a decision.

I came to the conclusion that I needed to detach my self from the outcome, which means to make my decision based on something besides what I think, want or fear will happen.

This was difficult to do at first because I was convinced that the outcome depended on my decision, but my coach helped me see this was an illusion.

I cannot control others – only myself.

I also came to the realization that my unique style of coaching is a gift that touches lives, and potential clients won’t receive it if they don’t know about it.

So I put myself out there in the interview – both poet and coach!

Are you thinking, “and… what was the outcome?”

Will you feel frustrated if you don’t find out what happened?

If the answer is yes, you have missed the point of this inspiration.

The beauty and power of detaching from the outcome is the outcome doesn’t matter.

Need some help with applying that concept to your life?

Schedule a complimentary session with me.