Help for Gen Z - The "always been connected" generation

Posted on December 07, 2018 by Brooke Baker, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Generation Z (or Gen Z) is the latest generation entering the workforce these days. The youngest is 6 and the oldest is 23. They are considered to be the first “always been connected generation” – and with that comes some issues – one, there is the addiction to devices. With that comes a more sedentary lifestyle, and difficulty connecting with other people in person – further exacerbating social anxiety. In addition, because of the popular use of filtering and photoshopping for social media posts, we’re seeing an increase in self-obsession for those looking for more followers and likes due to the Dopamine one receives from it – as well as increased self-consciousness, depression, disordered eating and unhealthy exercise behaviors for those who don’t feel like they measure up.

As if adjusting from being a student one’s whole life to being an autonomous adult with big responsibilities and a world of potentialities isn’t enough to make a young person want to hide under the sheets in the morning and never come out! I’ve witnessed 5 common problems that young 20-somethings face as they acclimate to life in the “read world.” See if you can relate to the following:

1. Sense of Loss – Loss – As a new graduate, you’re leaving behind not only a place you’ve called home for 4-6 years and their dearest friends, but you’re also leaving behind life as you’ve known it for your entire lives for at least as long back as you can remember – the identity of being a student. Being a student involves: known expectations – you go to class, you study, and maybe you’re involved in a sport or other extra-curricular activities; hanging out with friends; for many not having to worry about responsibilities outside of that – including not having to worry about money; and life changing with the seasons including big breaks in the winter in the summer and getting an opportunity to start fresh every fall and spring.

2. The intense pressure of adulthood – Now as a young adult you are thrust into this new world with all kinds of pressures and expectations. You need a job – and you’re likely taking an entry-level job, sometimes not even close to being in the realm of what you just got a degree in. Now, instead of day in and day out of being a student – it’s now 9 to 5 (or longer) I’m this (insert job title here) and I don’t know who I am outside of that identity. Now suddenly the nature of work doesn’t change with the seasons. Work can be repetitive and monotonous for some and you have to learn how to adapt to a new culture – a work culture comprised of some people you mix well with and others you wouldn’t choose to be around in your daily life – all kinds of different personalities and age ranges and bosses who are demanding and don’t appreciate anything you do. Then there’s the pressure of having to provide for yourself. So, you hope your job affords you a place to live – probably with a roommate or two – and enough left over for other living expenses you never had to account for in the past.

3. Isolation – Recent grads often end up in a city for work, usually not knowing a soul and will hopefully find companionship in a few colleagues – but that is not always the case. You will find that you can be surrounded by people and yet feel the loneliest you’ve ever felt in your life. People don’t know how to make friends – it’s not like it used to be when you would become friends with people due to proximity – your friends were your dorm mates you saw them all the time – the connections were strong. Now, when you do make a friend or even if you have friends from college in town, it takes effort to see them and the bonds weaken and people are left feeling alone.

4. Fear of the unknown – As I was saying before, as a student, your whole life – you knew where you were headed. Most students do not think about life beyond college, other than that at some point when they graduate, they will have the job they want and probably settle down and start a family – the traditional path. The reality is though, once you graduate, you realize that there’s this whole great big future ahead of you with endless possibilities and so many unknowns and this can be overwhelming. All this freedom of choice and all these options isn’t exciting to a recent grad, rather it sometimes creates crippling anxiety.

5. Maladaptive coping behaviors – Being young and feeling all this pressure and competition, new responsibilities, fear of the unknown, and social isolation often leads to maladaptive behaviors. One very important thing that usually isn’t taught in schools, and you’re lucky if your parents modeled it for you is how to cope with stress and anxiety in a healthy manner. Self-care is a becoming more of a mainstream concept but most people don’t know what that really means or will choose the quicker and easier route to assuaging anxiety – not to mention, these options guarantee the results that person is looking for. Many people abuse alcohol or pot – it’s so familiar from college – alcohol is the lubricant that makes it possible for a lot of people to feel comfortable enough on a first date or at a happy hour. Some people turn to food for comfort – food is a common go-to for boredom and loneliness. Some use harder drugs, prescription drugs, sex, and some use technology and TV – you can have an unhealthy relationship with pretty much anything.

I have some suggestions for what a young person can do to try to mitigate the stress that comes with these new life challenges – and this is by no means an exhaustive list:

1. Get a coach or therapist. A coach, like myself can be plenty helpful, especially if a person is looking to focus on moving forward rather than reflecting on the past. When it comes to unresolved emotional issues or trauma, a therapist is necessary for that type of work. Coaches help people navigate these changes and learn how to be more confident, develop their identity outside of their job and teach them how to develop healthy ways of coping.

2. Start a self-care practice that is sustainable – meaning no radical changes – they won’t stick. I see people try to change everything at once and they want to do it perfectly. The problem with that is that it goes well for maybe a couple days until the person has exhausted himself and can’t keep up so then all of it goes out the window. Sustainability of self-care usually involves adding a new practice in slowly and one at a time. My top recommendation to start with is aerobic exercise because it is essential to stress management. If you want to kill two birds with one stone – choose an activity that would provide you with opportunities to meet people – like a club sports team or Crossfit.

3. Get connected – IN PERSON! – Take advantage of sites like meet-up. In a big city there is a meet-up for literally any interest you can think of, it’s usually free or very low-cost, and it’s a great way to meet like-minded people. I suggest this to so many people and hardly anyone ever follows through because they’re too afraid to walk into a room of a strangers. They let their self-consciousness get the best of them. What people need to remember is that everyone in that room feels or has felt exactly the same in the beginning so they will likely be very friendly and welcoming. The potential positive outcome of attending your first meet-up is worth walking through your fear of the unknown, as hard as it may be.

4. Change your relationship with your devices and social media. At this point, your cell phone probably feels like an extension of your arm. Try putting it down for an hour and you’ll probably feel like you’ve lost a limb. But it will actually help you feel less anxious when you become practiced at it. Also, turn off audio notifications – every time a ding goes off, you go into a mini fight-or-flight response. After a day of your body being flooded with cortisol from all those notifications, you’re bound to be exhausted. When it comes to social media – give it a rest – either limit your use, go on a fast, or eliminate it altogether. If you are someone who is constantly photo-documenting your life, you’re not living in the present. And if you get FOMO or feel bad about yourself seeing how seemingly perfect everyone else’s life is, this is a good sign that social media isn’t healthy for you and you need to work on loving and accepting yourself fully and completely before you can engage in it.