DO YOU FEEL LIKE A FRAUD?

Posted on March 30, 2011 by Catherine Osborne, One of Thousands of Retirement Coaches on Noomii.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE A FRAUD?

Fooled them again! Mary had just delivered a brilliant presentation to a room jam-packed with her peers. Appearing deeply engaged, asking thoughtful, provocative questions, and rewarding her with a huge round of applause, they clearly enjoyed her talk. Inexplicably, Mary is overwhelmed with anxiety that these highly regarded individuals actually regard her as an “expert”. She lives in constant fear of exposure that she doesn’t deserve her reputation and that she has deceived others into believing that she is better than she really is. Well educated, she is a leader in her field, and highly regarded by her peers. Regardless of the external proof of her competence, Mary dismisses compliments, and feels her success is more a result of luck than ability. Mary’s constant fear of being exposed is an incredibly stressful way to live.

Ever heard of the Imposter Syndrome? Consider the scenario where you’re working in your dream job, you have been promoted several times, and everybody thinks you’re a star. Everyone, that is, but you. You can’t shake the feeling that you don’t deserve all this recognition, and that somebody is going to catch on and expose you. Clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes (1978) described it as “regardless of what level of success they may have achieved in their chosen field of work or study, or what external proof they may have of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced internally they do not deserve the success they have achieved and are actually frauds. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking we’re more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves
to be.”

Have you ever held back from going after a promotion, accepting a speaking engagement, or trying something new because you believed you weren’t good enough, even if you were perfectly qualified? Have you learned everything you can about a subject, and then still doubt that you know enough? After all, you can’t really be an expert unless you know everything! You could risk being exposed, after all. Even the smallest hint that your work isn’t excellent can de-rail you for weeks.

While those with imposter syndrome are unlikely to regard themselves highly, their willingness to continue learning can be a positive attribute. However, the inability to internalize their own success, and the constant focus on the negative, can definitely hold them back from achieving their potential. It might prevent a great candidate from going after a promotion, and it definitely gets in the way of ever feeling pride for a job well done.

People suffering from Imposter Syndrome have extremely high and unrealistic expectations for themselves. If you can’t take credit for your accomplishments, you’re crushed by mild criticism, you believe your success is due to luck, and you feel inadequate to do work that you are fully capable of performing, then you might be struggling with this syndrome.

What can you do when you suffer from The Imposter Syndrome? Dr. Valerie Young, an internationally known workshop leader and public speaker suggests that the “imposter” might consider re-framing things. Rather than focusing on what you don’t know, think instead about how much you are going to learn.

Another possibility is to write down any compliments that you receive. Rather than deflecting the praise, just accept it for what it is. Consider the possibility that it might be true. A “reality check” is simply checking the accuracy of your thoughts. If you say that you’re not qualified to accept an assignment, stop for a moment and check the accuracy of that statement, giving appropriate credit to your training and experience.

If you are faced with something you have never done before, rather than agonizing over the fact that you don’t know how, ask yourself, “Why would I know this?” This is an opportunity to learn and improve. Stop holding yourself to the impossible standard that you are supposed to know everything. Take time to celebrate your achievements. Learn to acknowledge the truth about how your successes came about. Taking a few moments to celebrate
accomplishments helps us to recognize how our particular skills are worthy of the respect we receive from others. Give yourself the credit you deserve.

Be realistic. Often people with unrealistic expectations of themselves need to set more accurate standards. While you may think you have to measure up to some kind of ideal before you will be worthy of being labeled an “expert”, consider finding out what the standard really is. “It is having a substantial amount of knowledge in a field and being able to convey that knowledge in an authoritative, professional, well defined manner”, says Chris McGirr, of Whole Life Coaching, a coaching firm specializing in Transformational Coaching.

Consider hiring a coach to work with you to explore your beliefs and your self-limiting thoughts. A coach will help you to clarify and embrace your strengths and abilities so you can move forward with a realistic, achievable, set of goals and objectives.

Finally, and definitely essential, know that you’re not alone. It has been estimated that over 30% of the population suffers from Imposter Syndrome. People from all walks of life have described these feelings. Jodie Foster said, “I thought (winning the Oscar) was a fluke. The same way as when I walked on the campus at Yale. I thought everybody would find out, and they’d take the Oscar back.”

It can be a great relief to know that we are not alone. In fact, most of us feel that way some of the time, particularly when we’re embarking on something new. Stretching outside of our normal comfort zone is often uncomfortable. The key is to take stock of what is true. If the evidence of your ability is there in the form of degrees, promotions, excellence, and in the faith of your colleagues, consider believing it to be true. Step into the wonderful, capable person they believe you to be. And begin to step out of your own way!