Beautiful Imperfection
Posted on November 05, 2018 by Tracy Baranauskas, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Perfectionism can keep you stuck, unable to take on new opportunities. Self-compassion is the key to moving forward.
Shortly after I hit “send” on the first edition of my newsletter, I noticed it. I mean, it was plain as day. Yet I didn’t see it the many times I had previously reviewed it. Ugh, I left out a letter in the word Unlimited - which happened to be part of the title. My throat was dry, and my mind raced through the list of people who had just received my newsletter in their inbox! What will they think of me? I felt so embarrassed!
As I started to travel down the rabbit hole of unhealthy self-criticism, I stopped myself and laughed. I’m a life coach, for goodness sake! I help my clients cultivate self-compassion when they struggle with perfectionism – yet, it only took one misspelled word to send me into a flurry of shame!
Brené Brown is one of my favorite authors, and I recommend her book “Gifts of Imperfection" to anyone who struggles with not good enough feelings (a.k.a. everyone!) In her book, Brown defines perfectionism as the belief that if we live perfectly, look perfectly and act perfectly, then we can minimize or avoid pain, blame, judgment, and shame.
Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth, but about trying to gain the approval and acceptance of others. She points out that this, of course, is an unattainable goal, especially because perfectionism is more about perception and there is no way to control the perception of others.
What can we do when we struggle with feelings of inadequacy? We can recognize that these feelings are part of being human, and we can be slower to judge ourselves and others. We can practice self-kindness and speak about our imperfections in a tender, honest way without shame or fear. And we can acknowledge that we are doing the best we can.
If you struggle to be gentle with yourself, then consider checking out “Gifts of Imperfections” and challenge some of the beliefs that might be holding you back. A deep fear of failing can keep you stuck, unable to take on new opportunities and move forward towards your dreams.
As I took my walk the next morning, I felt a sense of gratitude that my life experiences have helped me to grow in this area. I am now able to find perspective and shake off my mistakes more quickly.
I thought about how imperfections aren’t just common to humans, but to nature as well. As I walked through the woods and then down to the lake shore, I breathed in the brilliance around me. I was filled with appreciation that I am part of this beautiful world, for all its magnificence and its imperfections.
As Brené Brown says, “We are all in this together!”
