"Ms/Mr Control" in the Marriage
Posted on September 30, 2018 by Sally Ann Bharat, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Why being a controller in a relationship can result in separation
Has your partner ever referred to you as Ms/Mr Control? Come on let’s be honest :)
This is where you are convinced that the world around you will fall apart if you are not in control. It’s almost as if you are trying to figure out how to manipulate and spin situations to your advantage and believe it or not, you become very upset when things don’t go your way….Sounds familiar?
Sometimes, you try to use your alluring appearance and that sex appeal to capture your partner’s attention but you are still struggling to keep him/her. It forces your partner to seek comfort elsewhere.
The thing is, that controlling spirit makes you become aggressive and possessive without you realizing, which in turn pushes your partner away.
Yet, in your head, you are convinced that nothing good can happen without your input. You are so perfect that you strongly believe your way is always the best way.
But here’s the thing, you have to understand that you can’t control anyone but yourself.
For instance, when your partner do not treat you with the love you truly deserve, rather than try to manipulate the situation and force them to love you or chose you, simply let them go. But listen to the unspoken word and observe what they are showing you. YOUR CONTROLLING ATTITUDE can be a contributing factor for pushing them away.
Don’t sabotage yourself by using power of control to get them to love you, the relationship will not last and it will be heartbreaking at the end.
Now ladies, capturing your man’s heart is more than that beautiful figure or tight clothes.
What it really requires is for you to have that level of trust and allow the relationship to flow. It requires you to pay attention to the way you communicate rather than having a controlling attitude.
Here are some tips to help turn your controlling attitude into a loving attitude:
Be polite;
Be willing to compromise;
Practice assertiveness;
Don’t allow your limiting beliefs to bring about insecurities;
Learn how to address your stress.
Don’t be Johnny come lately and want to change your partner overnight, accept him as he is because we all have flaws;
Be open to change
