IS CHATTING CHEATING???
Posted on August 10, 2018 by Sydney Ceruto, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Cybersex, sexting, online affairs
Online sexual activity can involve various activities, such as viewing explicitly sexual materials, participating in an exchange of ideas about sex, exchanging sexual messages, and online interactions with at least one other person with the intention of becoming sexually aroused.
Many of my clients believe online lust is benign and characterize cybersex as talk about sex; I maintain that such talking is more similar to flirting than to having a sexual affair. In reality, though, the issue of online cheating is more complex—especially when it concerns sexual activities involving actual interaction with other individuals.
People, consciously or not, consider their online sexual relationships as real—they experience psychological states similar to those typically elicited by offline relationships. Accordingly, cybersex is not merely a conversation about sex, but a form of sexual encounters that involve experiences typical of other encounters, such as sexual arousal, masturbation, orgasm, and satisfaction. Indeed, people consider cybersex to have a high degree of psychological reality—but many do not consider it to be morally real—at least not as real as offline affairs.
Nevertheless, since online affairs are psychologically real they do often cause actual harm to one’s primary, offline romantic relationships. Accordingly, many people will be just as disturbed about a partner’s online sexual affairs as they would be if they discovered that their spouse was exchanging steamy love letters with someone else. When people do not consider online affairs as mere fantasy or interactions with an anonymous series of computer links, the result can be highly emotional and especially harmful.
I deal with couples who deal with this form of “infidelity” regularly, and in most circumstances, I am able to mend the marriage or relationship. If you are in the midst of an on-line affair or have been hurt by one, reach out to me for help.
