Minding My Own Business
Posted on August 02, 2018 by Renee Miller, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Keeping my nose out of where it doesn't belong!
As a mother of 20 years, and a natural caregiver my whole life, the desire to help others is very strong. And for years that is what I thought I was doing.
But my kids are very close to adulthood, and they don’t need my help. Let’s be honest: my interference is not required and rarely wanted. My teenage daughter is having a minor issue at her job. I have come up with at least three ways I could casually get involved, under the guise of ‘helping’. But that’s not true. I’m not helping. The issue has NOTHING to do with me, my daughter is not being harmed in any way, this will not affect her long term, etc. In other words – there is no reason for me to stick my nose into it. And it is so hard. Hard to keep myself from ‘helpful suggestions’ or gentle nudges or even going behind my daughter’s back to smooth the way.
This is my daughter’s issue and SHE is the one who needs to deal with it. Or not. But it is HER choice and her privilege to learn how to speak to her boss, ask respectful questions and assert herself. Taking that opportunity away from her, to satisfy my own need to be involved, because I think I know best, is selfish.
Selfish, because how do I know that my plan is best? Selfish because my desire to take control ultimately takes away control, learning and self discovery from the other person it belong to. And that is not helpful at all.
