Joy of Giving

Posted on June 24, 2018 by Kuldeep Surolia, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

We know how incredible it feels to receive something pleasant. Yet, the delight of getting is fleeting. Our lives are wealthier when we share, and that incredible internal delight originates from helping other people to better their lives. Genuinely giving from the heart fills your existence with satisfaction and supports your spirit. Giving gives a characteristic reward that is much more profitable than the blessing. As Mahatma Gandhi stated, “To get yourself, lose yourself in the administration of others.” Giving removes you from yourself and enables you to extend past natural impediments. Genuine bliss lies in the demonstration of giving without a desire of accepting something consequently.

Let us have a discussion on the joy of giving with our teacher Sir Kuldeep Surolia as we celebrates THE JOY OF GIVING and FORGIVENESS DAY in the last week of each year.
Question 1: Good morning Sir, please tell us how do you celebrate the joy of giving week and forgiveness day?
Answer: GM.
As you told we at Sorsfort celebrate the last week of every year as Joy of giving week i.e. from 25th of December till 1st January. The forgiveness day is celebrated on 23rd December.
As the names suggest we celebrate the joy of giving week by giving donations. We donate edibles like raw rice or biscuits, pencil boxes, washed and ironed old clothes in good conditions or new clothes, sometimes we sponsor a day’s lunch etc. We are also willing to collect these donations from society and provide them to the needy. Our Sorsfort parents have been very generous in joining hands with us all these years. We never collect or give donations in the form of money. In these many years we have given our contributions to blind schools, orphanages and old age homes. Many parents join us in this and visit these places with their children while we observe the joy of giving week.
As a part of joy of giving week, we have built a tradition of forgiveness day here, especially keeping in mind the psychology of students. Date 23rd December every year is marked as forgiveness day in Sorsfort. The day is observed by apologizing to everyone you meet in the campus. Of course I will be really happy if one practices it outside campus too but in campus it is mandatory. On this day we the staff apologize to one another for the mistakes we did knowingly or unknowingly or if we hurt one another somehow. Students too apologize to their teachers and friends. The theme of the day is to repeat “I am sorry if I ever hurt you in this year. Let us forget each other’s past mistakes and start afresh in the New Year with positive frame of mind.” See forgiving others can be hard. It will be hard for your children to grasp the true meaning of this concept. But if you teach them, show them and help them understand what it means to truly forgive another individual, you will see results. Sorsfort “Forgiveness Day” is the perfect starting point to help your children understand how to truly forgive.
Question 2: What is the reason you built this tradition of celebrating joy of giving week and forgiveness day?
Answer: A one word answer is Sadvidya that is Value Education. Basically the objective is to teach my students the values as you know we have built the Sorsfort curriculum on Sadvidya aspect. You have beautifully expressed in the beginning that we feel good in receiving but this happiness is short lived.
You know now majority of homes are of the “double income single child pattern” unlike our childhood days. This young generation is receiving too much. Sadly parents are using these gifts as substitutes to their involvement in child growth. For example say a parent can’t attend sports day at child’s school given their busy schedules. Now as compensation parent gets a toy/ chocolate/ dress/ mobile etc. etc. based on child’s age. This situation repeats number of times. Without analyzing this situation I would directly say this makes child a person who keeps on accepting returns. And also they usually don’t have siblings to share these gifts. Even if they have the sibling too will have equal amount of other toys.
We are in a transition stage now. It is great that people are able to afford luxuries but unfortunately on the other hand we still have underprivileged children and older people too. My main focus is to make urban middle class children know and understand what poverty is and develop a social sensitivity for the underprivileged. Children who are largely on the receiving side should know how it feels when they give. This is one goal behind joy of giving.
Additionally we – I, my staff and parent volunteers feel so glad to see smile on the faces of elderly in old age homes/ orphan children when they meet us. It is something out of the world feeling. I confess, this happiness is of magnitudes than on situations I got my first pay cheque or that when I received awards.
Third aspect in fact the basic aspect behind this is Sadvidya aspect. You know “DANA” holds a very important position in our culture. Not only in Hinduism but also Buddhism, Jainism, Christianity and Islam too.
As we at Sorsfort respect all the religion, we have selected Christmas as the occasion of donation.
Coming to your second question why do we celebrate the forgiveness day? We all know that our children are growing. They spend hours out of their homes, pampering time has to reduce in order to teach them disciple. Now they will get into arguments. They are going to fight, and someone’s feelings are going to be hurt. Their favorite toy may break in the hands of another child or they may not feel included. When these experiences occur, it is important our children learn to forgive others. But teaching forgiveness can be difficult. It can be taught only by being an example. This forgiveness day forms a very important initiative in this regard.
Why is this day considered a part of joy of giving week? Because to forgive is someone is to give them an opportunity to rectify their mistakes. Also forgiveness is a great virtue that gives us immense pleasure. In short Forgiving provides us with joy of giving.
Question 3: You said DANA forms very important part of our culture. Please elaborate on it.
Answer: As I said earlier Dana is of great importance in Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism, Christianity and Islam. As an example I would take the most ancient Scriptures- the Vedas. The most ancient Rig Veda relates it to satya “truth” and in another hymn points to the guilt one feels from not giving to those in need. Brihadaranyaka and Chandogya Upanishads say Dana is an aspect of virtueous life. The Bhagvat Gita guides us on right and wrong types of dana.
Vedic system of life has divided human life into 4 quarters. Considering average lifespan of a human as 100 years 25 years are given to each sect. we call them as Vranashrama. Namely, Brahmachrya ashram, Grihasta ahram, Vanaprastha ashram and Sanyas ashram. It will be out of the scope of this interview to elaborate on Vranashramas. In short Brahmachrya ashram is student life. Grihasta ashram is life of a householder that starts with marriage, during this stage husband and wife are supposed to work and earn, educate children and perform religious duties. Vanaprasta ashram is when both husband and wife retire from their duties typically after the marriage of their first grandchild and proceed to live in a forest. Last is Sanyas ashram i.e. life of ascetic, they renounce world.
Smirits- the scriptures that dictate code of conduct declare that it is Grihasta ashram that supports all the other ashrams. In this regard they make it a prime duty of the grihsta ashrama to make charity a daily duty. For example, the students and sanyasis used to come for Bhiksha (food) to householders. Even just 60-70 years ago it was a custom in India to wait for students and / or Sanyasis to come for Bhiksha. Until this donation in the form of prepared food or food grains is given in Bhiksha the head of the family would not have food. Later it took the form that householders would wait for any guest before having food. In folk lore we have few extreme examples that householder would fast for days together if he doesn’t serve a guest.
In essence it is dictated that when you earn you should also donate and support the other sects of the society.

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Sir Kuldeep Surolia : Life Coach, Business Coach, Spirituality Coach