Embracing Positive Self-Talk and Why It Is Worth It

Posted on May 18, 2018 by Visha Bhayee, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Sitting on your shoulders, is the most complex object known in the universe.
A bundle of approximately 100 billion neurons, the human brain is the “Command Center” of our body.

The very world around us has been shaped by human thoughts. It is this brilliant thinking process that has given birth to science, technology and much more.

Today, artificial prosthetic limbs are being moved with precision, through sheer mind control. In Feb 2016, bio-medical engineers from John Hopkins University School of Medicine, reported the first successful effort to wiggle fingers individually and independently of each other. This spectacular achievement was made using a mind-controlled artificial “arm” to control the movement.

What this example shows us is that, if we seek positive change, it cannot be achieved without first changing the way we think.

What is Self-Talk?

Intrapersonal communication or Self-Talk as it is called by psychologists, is the type of communication which takes place within a single person.
Similar to interpersonal communication, intrapersonal communication also is positive, negative or neutral.

The purpose of inner dialogue, is for clarifying ideas or analyzing situations. Self-Talk also enables us to reflect and appreciate. It also has a great impact on our confidence.
Quoting Henry Ford – “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”

A human brain is said to have approximately 50,000 thoughts in a single day. While positive self-talk is empowering, negative self talk can pull us down, eventually resulting in chronic stress and even put us at risk for mental and physical illness.

M.K Gandhi had so aptly said – “Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”

Examples of Negative Self – Talk

- I am a loser
- Nobody loves me
- I am ugly
- I am worthless to the core
- Everybody is better than me
- I am always unlucky
- I was born to suffer

Here are 5 key Strategies to help you, Embrace Positive Self-Talk :

STRATEGY 1. Self Assessment

A great way to move away from negative self talk is to first identify it. So, the next time you find yourself doing some negative self talking, stop yourself and analyze your action.
Take a step back and begin assessing your thoughts. Question yourself about the authenticity of the things you’ve been telling yourself.

Examples of questions to help you analyze your thoughts

- What is the nature of my self-talk?
- Is my self-talk more negative than positive?
- What are the triggers that set me thinking negatively? Does this happen when I compare myself to someone, or does it begin when somebody speaks to me in a certain manner?
- Am I over reacting and is this really that big a deal, as I am making it out to be?
- How has negative self-talking helped me so far?
- Am I being overly harsh on myself?

STRATEGY 2. Choosing Positive Self-Talk – Yes, it is a choice!

It is essential to remember the brilliance of the human mind and it’s capacity for choice and evolution.

The book “The Power of Neuroplasticity” by Dr. Helmstetter, brings neuroscience, consciousness, and personal growth together, and presents the scientific research that proves the human brain is designed to be physically rewired, throughout our lifetimes, based on the messages we give ourselves and receive from the world around us.

Positive self-talk comes more naturally to some of us; others can learn how to cultivate positive thinking and keep negative thoughts away. To learn a new approach towards self-talk, re-word your negative self-talk, infusing positivity in your way of thinking.

Example 1

“I am a sore loser. It is impossible for me to find a better job”

Alternative – “Finding a new job can take some time. I shall polish my skills, widen my job search and surely I will find something better soon”

Example 2

“My partner dumped me. I can never get over it”

Alternative – “The end of a relationship, does not mean it’s the end of life. I will overcome this and move forward”

STRATEGY 3. Treating Yourself With Respect

Self respect is essential for a positive self image. Negative self talk has a lot to do with constantly berating and demeaning ourselves. Positive self-talk cannot exist, if you do not respect yourself.

Let’s not mix up being disciplined with self harm / punishment. While discipline requires determination, there is clearly a huge difference between discipline and self harm. Anorexia and Bulimia are both examples of self damaging behaviors, which can lead to devastating outcomes.

An effective way of developing self respect is to enlist all your achievements, big, small and everything else in between. Next, intentionally think through the efforts and the sacrifices that you made, towards realizing those achievements. That itself shows how capable you are, indicating – if you have done it before, you can do it again!

Remember – Developing respect for yourself can take time and effort, however the outcome is well worth it. After all, what’s better than being your own trusted and respected best friend?

STRATEGY 4. The Use Of Language In Positive Self-Talk

Research conducted by psychologist Ethan Kross – University of Michigan, describes the importance of language in self-talk. The report says that referring to yourself in non-first person perspective while self – talking, can help you step back and think more objectively about your response and emotions.

Example – Referring to yourself to as he / she, him / her instead of I / me

This psychological strategy called “self-distancing” can help us better control our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It can also help decrease stress and anxiety.

STRATEGY 5. Overcoming Self Doubt

While adapting to positive self-talk, do not fear if you tend to doubt your new choices. Self doubt is a normal reaction to uncertainty.

In summary, positive self-talk helps you develop your self image and self esteem, improving your overall confidence and life experience. Do remember that there is no default setting in the brain, which is tuned only to negativity. Setbacks are temporary and shall surely pass. And, while you are already talking to yourself all day, why not make it more positive and reap the benefits.

About the Author :
Visha Bhayee is the leader and founder of EverythingMIND. She has been developing leaders around the world, for the last nineteen years.

As a certified Coach, international Corporate Trainer and Psychotherapist, Visha helps corporations and individuals, in the areas of Capability Development (corporate training,) Mindset Transformation (coaching,) and Therapeutic Healing (counseling psychotherapy.)

In essence, Visha is the catalyst that helps people Heal, Develop and Transform, for better professional and personal outcomes.