Finding Inner Peace

Posted on March 04, 2011 by Steven Nicholas, One of Thousands of Christian Coaches on Noomii.

What is inner peace? The simple answer is to say that inner peace is the absence of internal conflict. However, more difficult questions arise when we attempt to identify the sources of our inner conflicts and endeavor to get rid of them. Internal conflicts arise as the result of tensions between “what we want” and “what we are faced with.” The way we discover all of our internal conflicts is through intimate self-knowledge. But self-knowledge, of course, does not come easy. For most of us it takes a lifetime and, even then, there are areas of pervading darkness still looming that keeps us mystified. The most important element to self-knowledge is “truth.” Indeed, it is the truth that sets us free from the bondage of self-deception that leads to all manners of sinful thoughts and actions, but it is also the truth about ourselves that is oftentimes the hardest for us to accept as well. As a preliminary exercise, think of a conflict that you are currently experiencing. It can be anything. Perhaps it is a struggle you are having with another person or an unquenchable desire to do something that you know is wrong. Notice the two elements discussed above operating as the foundation of your internal conflict – a tension between “what you want” and “what you are faced with.” If you will take the heroic journey inward and examine every conflict you have in the light of truth, you will find the exact same two elements operating as the root of all your tensions. Inner peace is attained when all such clashes are examined and eradicated.

What does it take to eradicate internal conflict once it is discovered through self-examination in light of truth? To answer this question let us look to Christ as our example. Jesus was innocent yet he willingly suffered the horrible death of capital punishment on a cross. Did Jesus want to die? Of course not, what normal person does. Consequently, he suffered an internal conflict: a clash between “what he wanted” and “what he was faced with.” Yet, he was able to accomplish his mission with inner peace. How did Jesus do it?

Finding Peace in the Future: Replacing “what we want” with “what God wants”

In dealing with “what we want” the apostle Paul gives us the first clue:

Have among yourselves the same attitude that is also yours in Christ Jesus, Who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:5-8).

The key word for our use here is “humbled.” But the word “humbled” has a twofold meaning. It is true that Jesus humbled himself to the Roman authorities. But first, and foremost, he humbled himself to the will of God. For Jesus, “God’s will” always came first. He submitted to God without question in the same way a slave submits to his master. Consequently, Jesus was able to eradicate internal conflict by replacing “what he wanted” with “what God wanted.” Notice in the above scriptural verse that Paul tells us that this is the same attitude that we must take for ourselves.

Submissions to God’s will reconciles the present with the future – the realm of imagination, and removes the selfish obstructions that hold us hostage to the future. Openness to Grace – i.e. the acceptance of Divine revelation through the power of faith, begins our journey of surrender to God. Through the renewing of our minds our newly found perception of present reality changes our desire for the future. What once seemed important seems important no longer. A distorted desire for personal gain is replaced with a clear desire for universal unity in the kingdom of God. Our plans become directed toward fulfilling God’s intentions in the “now,” thus, we become free to live because we have freely died. And, since our future plans are no longer directed toward our own self-interest, changes in plan that come by way of unexpected events such as illness, hostility, insults, even death can be accepted because we know it is God’s will that we take up our cross daily and endure suffering for the sake of the gospel . This allows us to be simultaneously “fully involved” and “fully detached” in all things through love.

Finding Peace in the Past: Forgiving “what we are faced with”

How did Jesus cope with “what he was faced with” – i.e. his enemies, his accusers, his murderers and his scoffers – in short, how did Jesus deal with sinful acts in general? Here Luke gives us the second clue:

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Forgiveness of others reconciles the present with the past – the realm of memory, and removes the obstructions that hold us hostage to the past. Through the renewing of our minds our perception of present reality changes and we are no longer hostile with our past. Forgiveness is especially necessary when brutal and severe acts of violence and aggression were directed toward us, toward our family and friends, or toward our community. Under such conditions it seems natural to seek vindication and hold a grudge against our adversary. When considering forgiveness we might ask, “Is it right to give up justice when innocent life has been violated through someone else’s deliberate ill-intent and reckless action?” In human terms the answer to such a question might seem obvious. We would say “hell no!” For some, “life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe” seems like an equitable formula to follow under such conditions. For others, simply “getting back” is not sufficient; they believe that reckless behavior requires severe vengeance so that any further thoughts of such behavior on the part of their enemy will be thwarted. It is usually only “the few” who are willing to forgive as Jesus himself did.

Forgiveness can be easy when our adversaries are truly sorry and willing to change their way of thinking and behaving. But when our adversaries refuse to repent, forgiveness can be difficult; seemingly impossible. Here prayer and understanding become essential. Daily prayer for yourself and for your oppressor is mandatory. In addition to prayer it often helps to try and put yourself into your adversary’s situation at the time they confronted you. Was there something you did to trigger the mishap? Would you have responded to your behavior the same way if you were them? Yet sometimes an adversary’s attack comes unprovoked. In such cases we must take heed and pray especially for them. Jesus says:

You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun to rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that? Do not the pagans do the same? So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect (Matthew 6:43-48).

When prayerfully reflecting on your past interactions, it is important to be patient with yourself. Time and love are your allies. Talk about your situations with someone you trust, but never speak poorly of anyone. You never know “Who” might be listening.

Finally, you must seek the forgiveness of those whom you hurt as well. This too can be most difficult and sometimes it is better to leave well-enough alone. Sometimes it helps to write repentant letters to those whom you should not contact. Letter writing helps us organize our thoughts and puts closure on a situation. However, DO NOT MAIL THE LETTERS; destroy the letters immediately and make your peace with God. All forms of intentional, malicious acts must be addressed in Spirit and in truth. Make amends with those you can contact, do some form of retribution if necessary, but leave no stone unturned. Sometimes we find that we have hurt more people during the course of our lifetime than people have hurt us.

Finding Inner Peace in the Present: Steps toward becoming a “Peacemaker”

So far on our journey together we have discussed making peace with our future through submission to God. Likewise we have discussed making peace with our past through the power of forgiveness. Now we turn our attention to making and maintaining peace in the present. Finding peace in the present is essential if we are to discover the kingdom of God that lives “within us” and “among us.” Maintaining peace in the present is the activity of the peacemaker. Concerning this activity Jesus says: “Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9). Needless to say, being called a “child of God” is no small honor. It is a title that God Himself used for Jesus. But what is the duty of the peacemaker such that by partaking in this activity one can inherit inner peace? To better understand we must first look at the nature of conflict from another angle.

Acts of justice involve at least two distinct parties: an oppressor and a victim. Apart from such an arrangement there is no need to ponder the meaning of justice since there is no violation requiring a “just” intervention. If we seek to understand an appropriate Christian response to issues concerning injustice, we need to understand justice in terms of mercy. What this means is that justice is found in the very act of being merciful. Without mercy our “perceived” acts of justice are nothing but grim vindication. To avoid being vindictive, mercy must be the primary attitude through which all justice is levied. Mercy, however, can only be present where there is compassion, which, in turn, can only be fostered when one has a deep regard for the sanctity of life. God has given us the gift of life and it is in the “best interest” of life – i.e. love, that God’s kingdom is built. Hence, to the Christian, all life is considered sacred, a gift from God, irreplaceable, and never expendable through human decision. Consequently, perhaps the most accurate measure of our own sinfulness is the measure by which our thoughts, attitudes, and actions affect our own life and the life of others – its inception, its quality, and its outcome.

Vindication disregards the sanctity of life and places life into our own hands rather than into the hands of God. Without doubt, oppression must cease, but any means used upon an oppressor that goes beyond the “minimum” means needed to end the oppression becomes itself an act of oppression. We become as guilty as our oppressor because, through our anger towards them, we disregard the sanctity of their life and seek to act in violation to it. In order to be completely just in our own actions we must restrain ourselves from doing what we feel inclined to do and act according to what is right to do. That requires an act of mercy toward the oppressor.

Justice must also move beyond our own self-interests. Our society wrestles with many issues concerning our collective disregard for life: abortion, euthanasia, infanticide, genocide, capital punishment, war and its associated crimes, environmental issues and lists of other neglectful violations to life. In dealing with these issues, our task is to always seek the “minimum” restraint so as to not be vindictive. Likewise, if we are to keep in accord with Jesus’ desire for us to have life and have it more abundantly, a Christian must intervene on behalf of all oppressed victims and, as an act of mercy, come to the rescue of those that cannot fend for their own cause.

The Role of the Peacemaker

The peacemaker, in their act of administering justice, seeks to unify the idea of forgiveness with the idea of repentance; thus, the role of the peacemaker is twofold. First, the peacemaker intervenes in a conflict, on behalf of the victim, to mercifully end the oppression. Then the peacemaker compassionately seeks to awaken the oppressor by aiding them in the recognition their error and, thus, repent. Simultaneously, the peacemaker intervenes with the victim, on behalf of the oppressor, to foster forgiveness within the victim. If successful, true repentance coupled with authentic forgiveness allows both parties to proceed once again in peace and collaboration. But, if a negotiation with either party fails, then justice still demands that the oppression be mercifully stopped and, for the sake of future justice, separation of the parties be established thereby creating an unfortunate breakdown of community and a failure in the goal of universal peace. Therefore, success is essential if a contribution to the Kingdom of God is to manifest. In failure the victim, perhaps with the aid of the peacemaker, must still seek to forgive their oppressor, not because the oppressor necessarily deserves forgiveness, but as an act of mercy upon themselves – for only through forgiveness can the victim be released from the burden that anger and hatred weigh upon them. Failure must never be an option.

It is also important to remember that we too can become the victims of our own injustice by placing harsh criticism and blame upon ourselves when we fall short of our own expectations and the expectations of others. In this arrangement we become our own oppressors. To attain inner peace under these circumstances requires that we become our own peacemakers; accepting our failures, making amends with our self and with those we have offended, then forgiving ourselves as a self-directed act of mercy. Many of us neglect to carry this process out and remain angry with ourselves, thereby breeding guilt, shame, alienation and other related illnesses that conquer our life and spirit and thereby disrupt inner peace.

When all of our energies are focused upon thoughts and actions that promote and foster the gift of life, then the actions that follow will demonstrate that we are living in the Spirit that gives life and sustains it – the Spirit who is Love. The Spirit of Love provides us with the energy that produces life-sustaining action. Without the Spirit of Love there can be no regard for the sanctity of life; without regard for the sanctity of life there can be no compassion; without compassion there can be no mercy; without mercy there can be no justice; without justice there can be no peace; and without peace there can be no unity of creation in the Kingdom of God!

Conclusion and Summary

Finding inner peace and living a peace-filled life is a difficult and time-consuming process but it is essential if you are to live out our Lord’s desire and will for your life. In this article I have covered the three areas of life that need to be addressed to make that peace a reality – i.e. the future, the past, and the present moment in which you live. Using the methods discussed in this article will help you on your journey, but the work is still yours to do. As such, let us look briefly at the article’s key points as a review to help you in your journey toward inner peace.

 Make peace with the future by asking God for the Grace of revelation and faith, so that Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit, can fill your life with an attitude of slavery toward God. Once attained, transform your future life through a renewing of your mind in accordance with the Grace you are given.

 Make peace with your past by forgiving everyone who offended you and, if possible, seek forgiveness from everyone you have offended.

 Make peace in the present by understanding the nature of justice and living your life in accordance with the role of a Peacemaker.

Good luck in your newfound life and may God bless you in the task you are about to undertake.