MYTHS ON EMOTION

Posted on April 28, 2018 by Sydney Ceruto, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Given that it is common for us to judge our emotions, many people develop false beliefs or ‘myths’ about emotions. Here are the most common ones, as well as why they are false. If you are not a client of mine, schedule an in-person or phone session to learn how to Change Your Negative Thinking. Afterwards, make sure to take a second look at these myths.
It may become even clearer why they are all myths.

Myth #1: There is a right way to feel in every situation.
False. Feelings are not right or wrong. They provide information about how we see a specific situation. Different people will feel different emotions depending on the situation because we all have different beliefs about ourselves, others and how the world operates. Even if two people feel the same emotion, it is possible that the intensity will vary. For example, during a funeral most people will feel sad, but the intensity of sadness will vary depending on how close each person was to the deceased person.

Myth #2: When I let others know I am feeling bad it shows I am weak or flawed. False again. Feelings are not a weakness. Everyone experiences negative
emotions and we cannot all be weak or flawed. So expressing a negative emotion simply means that something is bothering us.

Myth #3: All negative emotions will keep on increasing in intensity if I do not act now.
This is untrue. Emotions do not increase forever in intensity. They reach a peak and then they will subside.

Myth #4: Negative emotions are bad and destructive.
This is another false myth. It is not the emotion that is bad or destructive but the
behavior that results. For example, alcohol abuse, compulsive shopping, risk-taking behaviors and self-mutilation.

Myth #5: All emotions happen spontaneously for no reason.
False. All emotions happen for a reason and are the result of our perception of an
event.

Myth #6: I cannot tolerate any painful emotion.
This is not true. People can learn to tolerate unpleasant emotions with practice. If
we do not learn to tolerate emotions, impulsive behaviors such as drugs, regrettable sexual encounters and self-harm with lead to further problems and additional painful emotions.

Myth #7: Some emotions are completely stupid and useless.
Untrue. All emotions provide information to us so they are very useful. They help
identify what we like or do not like (for example, what sports we like, how we want to be treated), they help us communicate with others (for example, facial expressions to convey anger or interest) and they help prepare us for action (for example, feeling anxious about a test motivates us to study until we feel prepared and the anxiety decreases).

Myth #8: If others do not agree with how I feel then I must be wrong.
Another false myth. There is no right or wrong emotion so emotions cannot be
judged. If you feel a certain way, then it is what you are feeling regardless of what others say. Also remember that each person can experience a different emotion after the same event.

Myth # 9: Other people are the best at knowing how I am feeling.
Not true. People can only see behaviors or what you do, but not what you are
feeling. Thus, each person is the best judge of how they feel.

Myth #10: All painful emotions should be ignored because they are unimportant. False. Painful emotions are especially important because they leave significant
emotional scars that need to be healed. Ignoring them will not make them go away.

Myth #11: Feeling negative or painful emotions means I am bad.
A final false myth. Feelings are not like a personality trait or a behavior, so
negative emotions do not describe us as people. In addition, everyone feels negative emotions, like anxiety or depression on occasion, and everyone cannot be ‘bad’.