Let's Call Retirement What It Really Is for Today's Boomers

Posted on March 28, 2018 by Bonnie Clark, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

Have you ever actually looked up the word “retire” in the dictionary? Dictionary.com defines it as: “to withdraw, or go away or apart, to a place of privacy, shelter, or seclusion; to go to bed; to withdraw from office, business, or active life, usually because of age; to withdraw or remove oneself.” I don’t know about you, but I do not view being retired as withdrawn, secluded, or apart from active life!

Each time I spoke with my friends who retired before me, they always told me how busy they were. Now that I am retired I am experiencing the same thing. I cannot believe how fast the days and weeks fly by. Who knew that being retired was so time-consuming! I believe the reason I am so busy being retired is because I have chosen to find enjoyment in so many things I did not have the time for when I was working 50 plus hours a week. I can get up in the morning (thankfully, without an alarm clock!), and take time to enjoy my morning tea and a crossword puzzle. No more rushing to get out the door, sometimes skipping breakfast, as I rush off to the high-stress job. I’ve also begun my “encore” career as a life coach, and I’m loving every minute of it! In fact, I wish I’d pursued this career years ago.

Many of today’s active retirees would probably agree with me that they are far from “retired,” per the dictionary definition of that word. Therefore, I would like to suggest a new name to replace the outdated word that might have described our parents’ and grandparents’ retirements with something that more accurately reflects the Boomer Generation. Having spent the majority of my career in education, I would like to suggest we rename it, The Third Commencement. Think about it. We go to commencement when we graduate from high school, and we go to commencement when we graduate from college. Even those of us who don’t go to college have a sort of “commencement” when the children leave the nest. Commencement signifies the start of something new. Dictionary.com defines it as “an act or instance of commencing; beginning.” Psychologist and author Dr. Sara Yogev says that “retirement is not just walking away from work; it is also walking toward something new.” Is that not what retirement is really about? A new beginning? It certainly can be. But, it can also be a new challenge for those of us who may not be fully prepared for it.

Is retirement really a life challenge? You bet it is! It is one of the biggest life transitions we make in or lives because, for many, of us our whole identity has been tied to our career. My brother-in-law was an orthopedic surgeon at a large hospital in a mid-sized city in the Northeast. He worked well into his 70s. During his career at the hospital, he was chief of surgery for many years. In fact, his photo is on the wall in the hospital. Yet, after he retired and went to that same hospital for treatment he was asked to spell his last name! The person at the front desk had no idea who he was.

Like my brother-in-law, how many of us are surprised when we are no longer connected to the identity with which we had been associated for so many years? If we haven’t prepared for retirement, it can come as a rude awakening when we realize things have changed. But, how many of us actually prepare for retirement? Dave Ross, in his 2016 article, “Warding Off the Retirement Curse,” said, “Retirement represents a huge disruption in our lives. Most of us assume it will be a positive change, but that’s not guaranteed.”

I’ve known people who couldn’t wait to retire so they could play golf every day. After a year or two they were searching for something more fulfilling. They had prepared for the short run, but after a while they found themselves asking, “what now, what’s next?”

Most of us plan for the financial side of retirement, generally through our workplace retirement accounts and social security. But, how many of us actually think about and prepare for the non-financial side of retirement? A search for retirement planning will call up dozens of articles and books on financial planning, but you will find few that deal with vision, purpose, living arrangements, leisure activities, health, relationships – the social/psychological, “human” side of retirement.

Like any other major life event, leaving the workplace brings with it a host of fears and worries about “the unknown.” We can view retirement as a huge chasm waiting to pull us away from work and into the abyss, or we can view it as The Third Commencement and embrace it as we prepare for the next 20 to 30 years of what can be the most fulfilling time of our lives. As you prepare, ask yourself these questions:

• How and where do I see myself in the next year, five years, ten years?
• What is my passion? My purpose?
• Where do I want to live?
• How do I want to live?
• What do I most like to do?

If you have difficulty answering some or all of these questions, it is probably because you, like I did, have focused all of your energy on your career for the past many years. It’s time to start refocusing and looking to the future. Retirement doesn’t have to be “going away or apart.” It can be the beginning of the best years of your life! Let it be your Third Commencement by planning for the exciting future that awaits!

Bonnie Clark, Ed. D.
Transitional Life Coach
Coaching from Center

As a retirement coach, I help my clients to prepare for and embrace the social/psychological, “human” side of retirement.