Choosing Joy through Change

Posted on March 22, 2018 by Jasrin Singh, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Have you found moving to a new country or a new job very challenging? Or becoming an empty nester impossibly hard? Is the loss of a job rocking your world?
Change can be overwhelming, particularly if you’re used to a certain habitual way of living. Perhaps you’ve found things to keep you busy, but not necessarily fulfilled.

Jasrin’s advice – In order to find that fulfillment again, you have to embrace the life you’re living; for most, however, it’s not as simple as saying, ‘I’m going to be happy.’ Rather, you need to make a paradigm shift, conditioning yourself to think totally differently.”

But how do you do that?

1. Start living your own life.
   Find out who you are and what makes you happy as a person, independent of your relationships with your partner and your children.
2. Do something you love.
   Transition times are perfect for developing yourself by learning something new or pursuing something you’ve always wanted to try,” she says. Find a passion and start doing it, whether it’s learning to paint, getting into shape, or starting a new business – anything that makes your heart pitter-patter.
3. Weed negativity out of your life.
   Surround yourself with positive people who also look at life and transition as a great opportunity,” Get rid of people who constantly complain. They only bring you down.
4. Realise your happiness is good for your kids.
   Kids don’t learn from what you tell them or do for them, rather they learn from who you are and eventually become that. So, if you want your kids to grow up to be happy, you need to have your own life, filled with things that make your soul sing. Setting the example of choosing joy and self-fulfilment is far more important than picking up the kids from school every day.
5. Dump the excuses.
   Many fail because they hide behind reasons such as “I don’t know anything about doing business in Asia,” or “I’m too old to make a change,” or “My family needs me.” Excuses are stumbling blocks that can often easily be overcome once you make up your own mind to do so. The single most important step in reaching a goal is believing you can achieve it.”

Of course, fiercely pursuing a goal is not as easy as it sounds, particularly if you’ve moved across the globe or had some other major life change such as loosing a job or becoming an empty nester. You already feel off-kilter. How can you totally change your thinking and learn to believe in yourself?

Shifting a paradigm happens through emotional impact and repetition. Often working with a coach is the key. Coaching is different than therapy – A coach’s job is to help functional people become exceptional whereas therapy helps heal trauma and disorders. Coaching is also different than asking a friend’s advice because our friends bring their own baggage and emotions to the
conversation. Change really happens when you work with a neutral party without any unconscious biases or judgements.
The takeaway is that you really can be happy, and go after goals that feel over the top. You can choose joy and the first step is making the decision to do so